Why Guys shouldn’t write in Diaries
by maddiej93
Summary: MoliverLackson When Miley gets Oliver a diary for his 16th birthday, he finds out that he has to write in it everyday to go w/ his New Years Resolution. During the year,he will make new friends, lose old ones, and maybe some new feelings will arise...
1. Pig Guts

**Hey you guys! This is my second fanfiction entitled "Why Guy's shouldn't write in Diaries". Don't ask- lol.**

Chapter 1:

Pig Guts

January 21st

My room, my bed, 9:30 PM

Hello world.

My name's Oliver Oscar Oken or the triple O as I prefer. Or the Okenator… or Smokin Oken… or... okay, I'll stop there. The list would go on for all eternity.

I seriously cannot believe I'm writing in this thing. Yes, I'm writing in a DIARY. Okay, I don't want to refer to it as a diary exactly. But. You know. Okay, back to the journal thing. Yes, that's good. It's my journal. My journal… that smells like Axe and Miley's perfume. Gags.

Now I don't want to sound like Miley talking about how she writes in her diary daily… anyway. Yeah, Miley has decided that it would be a funny idea to give me this stupid brown worn journal for my sixteenth birthday.

For heaven's sake, I got my driver's license and now I'm forced into writing in this! Anyway. This is ridiculous. I cannot stand journal writing. If I hated writing in them when I was six… wow I sure do hate doing it at age sixteen.

"Oliver, happy birthday!" Miley said as she handed me her present.

I had already opened Lilly's, which was a $50 iTunes card. I tore back the paper on Miley's paper… and found a box.

"A box, Miley?" I asked. "Yes!" She grinned. "Oh, thanks. I sure could use one…" I muttered under my breath.

I opened the box and found a smaller box. "Another box?" I asked. "Yes!" Miley said, laughing.

Lilly was howling with laughter at this point, for no apparent reason. It really wasn't that funny, if you ask me.

Funny is when I saw Miley's face when I gave her a bottle of Axe for her fifteenth birthday. She wasn't at all pleased with that gift….

After about three more boxes, I got to a small to medium package covered with tissue paper. It was completely covered in Scotch tape.

"Ugh… Miley… why do you always wrap stuff like this?" "Careful- that's…" She started, but it was too late. The Scotch tape wasn't in fact the wrapping tape. "MILEY, WHY DID YOU WRAP IT IN DOUBLE SIDED TAPE?"

She joined Lilly at that point and started to double with laughter. Finally, I had managed to get all the tissues paper off… only to find… something covered in hot pink duct tape. "Press it!" Miley said. "Okay…" I mumbled. I pressed it. "Pop, pop, pop!" It went. "Oh… Miley… you didn't cover bubble wrap with duct tape, did you?" "Yes!" Lilly managed to get out.

"Awh… man… this sucks monkey ass." Lilly paused from her hyenaness and asked, "Monkey ass?" She started laughing even harder than before. God, girls sure do laugh easily. Or get mad easily. But I prefer them to laugh like idiotic monkeys than slap you across the cheek like crazy… mountain lions.

Finally, I managed to get off all the duct tape (only to find myself with hot pink duct tape all over my jeans). I peeled off the bubble wrap and then… "AGHHHH! FEATHERS!"

Yes, beneath the bubble wrap was feathers. I got feathers all over myself. "Finally!" I said. I peeled back the tissue paper and…

"What's this?" I asked disgustedly as I pulled out a brown leather notebook. "Do you think I am a poetry writer or something?" I asked Miley. "No! You are a diary keeper!" "I'm… a… what?" "Well, remember how your New Year's Resolution was to use every gift you would ever receive?" "Uh huh…" I said, wondering what she was getting at. "Well, I decided to get you this journal… and you have to write in it every day till next year!!!" "I have to… what?!" "Yep!" She grinned as Lilly continued laughing.

And that's exactly why I have to write in this journal till next year. Yippee. Yay me. Goodbye, Journal.

My Room, my bed, 10:00

Seriously. I need to stop. But I can't sleep. This is ridiculous. I don't understand why I have to write in this thing!!! I mean, sure, I said I'd you any gift that I would get… but I mean, come ON! THIS IS A FREAKING DIARY FOR THE LOVE OF TRIANGLES!!! Yes, for the love of triangles. I think they are a hilarious shape. Seriously. Do I say seriously a lot, Journal? Do I? Do I?!

Wow. I just lost every ounce of manliness that I have. I was actually EXPECTING and answer from a JOURNAL. What in the world, it's like me trying to talk to Lilly when she's rambling about the new 'hottest guy, oh my god!' or whatever. Pst. Girls make me wonder sometimes.

I do NOT want to go to school tomorrow, Journal. Just because I spilled pig guts all over Mrs. Welker give me the chance to be nicknamed 'Guts'. And by the way, pig guts don't smell at all pleasant. Yuck. I swear though, I felt awful about it. Welker smelled strongly of pig for the next three days. Woopee. Pig guts totally rock! Yay pig guts!

Hmmh. Anyway. I don't feel like talking about pig guts cause it's making me nauseous. (. Uh oh. Lilly's calling.

My room, my bed, 10:15

That was… odd.

Lilly just called and was yelling about how she can't believe we have school tomorrow. I don't understand why. I guess she forgot today was Sunday or something. She was yelling about how she forgot to do her 500 page essay on why talking is a disturbance.

She got in trouble during World History and so she got the choice of writing the essay or cleaning the bathrooms. Eh. I would rather shove the toilet scrubber thingy up the teachers… er, never mind.

I have decided not to write anything vulgar, in you, Journal. I don't want any ahem certain ahem females to read it and get disturbed or worse, angry about my use of language. Honestly, I don't know why girls give a shit. Sorry, Journal. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. Truly, Journal. Forgive me? Pretty pleaseee? Ok, good. I'm glad you don't feel any… um… feelings for me. Because you're a Journal, Journal. No offense. You don't have feelings. AND I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!

Wow, someone sue me. Seriously, before I fall in love with this piece of crap. Sorry, Journal. Again. Seriously, is there anyone out there that owns some dynamite? Cause I'd like to set off and explosive in you so then nobody can read this stuff I write in it. Because it's embarrassing. Beyond anything I've ever done in my teenage years. Except maybe that one time… eh, I'm not finishing. It's vulgar, and we have agreed no vulgarness in you. Right? Thought so.

God, Journal, I DO say seriously or serious or any other form a serious… wait is there only two? Or three… serious, seriously, seriousness… I think that's all. But who knows. I'm not a serious expert! HAHAHA! Wow, lame joke.

Anybutt. Who says anybutt, anyway? Oh, I know. Me. Ha. But yeah. I think I'm gonna go bury you in the back yard. It'll be like your funeral, Journal. I'm sure you'll rest in peace. And who knows? Maybe in thirty years some kid with ADHD will find it and take pleasure in reading you. Although that would be incredibly suckish because I have written some things that little two months old don't need to know. If two months old could read, or even talk at that, that is.

Wow. Who knew Smokin Oken could be so… Chokin Oken? Eck. I did (.

Oh yeah. I forgot an aspect of that call from Lilly. She was talking about Miley a lot and she asked if I felt anything for her. It's like… she's my sister. Yes, I have feelings for her! And then Lilly gets all aggravated and screams like a… a… mountain lion. In heat. Ew. Ummm… yeah. Girls are SO confusing.

Oh god, speaking of girls… there's this totally hot brunette chick in my Geometry class (and wow I sounded like Miley right there. But it wouldn't be chick, it would be guy)… I swear, I needed a bucket of (ice, ice cold) water to the head. Haha, I needed ice, ice, baby. What's up with me and lame jokes? Wow. Great. Now I have Ice, Ice, Baby stuck in my head. I'm unfortunate.

Hang on. I'm gonna grab my iPod so I can listen to REAL music. Not that song's fake. But… it kinda sucks.

My bedroom, my desk chair, 10:45 PM

Well THAT was embarrassing. Okay, so since I was in bed earlier, I was in my sleepwear (boxers). I didn't know mom would be back from work… but she was. So anyway, back to the story.

I walked through the hallway blindly because all the lights were off and entered my kitchen to get my iPod and a mid 10:00 snack. When I walked into the kitchen, I found my kid brother, Michael and my weird mom standing in there making peanut butter sandwiches. "MOM!" Michael exclaimed, "Ollie's in his boxers!"

Without looking up, mom said "Oliver, get some clothes on!" "What?! I just got out of bed to get my iPod!" "You're Nanoooooo?" Annoying little brother asked. "Yes, my Nanoooooo. His name is Freddy by the way." "Isn't your bear's name Freddy?" "YES!" I said.

Oh yeah, Journal, don't tell anyone I have a teddy bear named Freddy. It would be social suicide if anyone at school happened to find out. And I don't want to find out what they would say. Anyway, back to the story... again.

"Stop yelling!" Mom yelled. "SORRY!" I yelled back. Then all of the sudden…

"Hey Oliver, I need to borrow you're…" "MILEY!!!" Michael said, "I LOVE YOU!!!"

Yeah, did I mention that Michael has this massive crush on Miley? "Ummm, thank you?" Miley asked questioningly. She laughed a bit and weird annoying little brother stared at her as if she were… um… a huge swan… attacking my mom's hair. I don't know how to say it! He was starved raging teenager. I can't imagine what he will be like when HE'S sixteen. Yikes.

"Hey Oliver… I need to talk to you. I have a huge question." "Okay... we can go to my room, but it's really messy." "I TOLD YOU TO CLEAN FIVE WEEKS AGO!" "And I DID," I answered mom, "Come on let's go before she tries to stab me to death with her butter knife." Miley laughed and we quickly exited the room.

"Sorry about my outfit but I rushed over." Miley said as we entered my bedroom. "Oh… it's okay," I said. I glanced up and down to take in what she was wearing… and she looked kinda… um… never mind. "Look what I'M wearing!" I said. Miley giggled. "Yeah…" She said, "I've seen you in your boxers before though!" "I know, I know." Suddenly, I became very self conscious of myself and slipped on a robe.

"Anyway," Miley began, "I need to talk to you about something." "Okay, shoot." I said, still feeling nervous and shaky. "Well, I have this friend and she has like, a massive crush on someone." "Really? Who?" I asked her. She shot me a look and said, "I can't tell you. I promised her I wouldn't tell ANYBODY!" Miley said. "It's one of my best friends…" She continued. "OH MY GOD LILLY LIKES ME." I said, literally spazzing out. "NO, NO, NO! It's not Lilly, so chill your butt!" She said. "Okay, sorry. I just got kind of freaked out for a second there." "Obviously," Miley muttered under her breath, "So," She said aloud, "What should she do?" "Why don't you ask Lilly?" "Becauseee she said she's doing laundry." "At… 10:20?" "Yes. Apparently." "Wow." I said. "But seriously, what should she do?" "She should tell the guy. Wait. It IS a guy, isn't it?!" "YES IT'S A GUY, you donut!" She said to me, whacking me over the head with my pillow." "OW!" I said incredibly loudly. "Sorry." Miley said. "But yeah. She should tell him." "How?" She asked. God, girls ask a LOT of questions. Oo. "Just go up to the guy and say "I like you." And then that'll be that." "Um, Oliver. Girl's just can't go up to a guy and say "I like you!" Especially if it's their best friend…" "Wait, hold up for a second. Do you like me?" "Yes of course! You're like, my brother!" She said.

For some reason, my heart seemed to drop.

"Okay." "But Oliver!" She said, resting her hand on my knee. For some INCREDIBLY absurd reason, this made my heart quicken its pace and my face burned. I'm sure it was as red as the shirt Miley was wearing.

"What?" She wanted to know. "What?" I asked back. "Never mind… I thought you were gonna say something." Yes, I was. And that was to please take her hand off my knee so I didn't feel like this. Seriously, it was SO weird. My heart started like beating five times faster and all of the sudden I was worried my knee felt out of shape.

Yeah, Journal, don't ask. I have no idea why. "Well," I said to her, "I'm kind of tired." "You? At 10:30?!" "Yeah. I've had a long day." "Me too…" Miley yawned, "I had a Hannah thing." My nose furrowed or whatever the expression is and I said, "Why don't I ever get invited to Hannah things?" "You never asked." "I. You. But. Fine." I said. Miley laughed a bit and then she spotted you, Journal. "Hey, have you been writing in this?" She asked me, picking you up. "Yes. No. Maybe!" "Can I look?" She questioned me. "Sure…" I said.

She opened your cover and noticed the purple pen that I was using. "Purple pen?" She scoffed. "Yeah, what's wrong with purple?" "Nothing… I just thought you're more "macho" than that." "Eh." I said, shooting her a look. "Who's this brunette in your Geometry class?" Miley asked me.

Oh my god, Journal. I figured out that the totally hot brunette wasn't just any totally hot brunette. Miley. The totally hot brunette is Miley. Um… can you say weird? Anyway.

"Erm…" I said. "Me?" She said, flashing a smile. "Um…" "I'm just kidding Oken." She said, getting up. "Where are you going?" I wanted to know. "Home. I have to pick out an outfit for school tomorrow." "Why?" "Because I want to impress someone." "Who?" "Oliver, are you a person working for a magazine?" "No…" I said. "Then why do you keep asking questions?"

Burn. And it was hot, too. Wait. That sounded wrong. Whitening that out… now. Wow, white out really DOES work miracles. But I'm feeling a bit light headed and tingly now. Kind of like how I feel when I look at Miley's hotspots. The two that are on the upper half of her body, I mean. Oh my god. Whiting that out… now! Well, I think I'm getting tired. No, actually, I am.

Good night, Journal. Have pleasant dreams. I know that I'll have great ones. Hurrah! Wow. That could sound… wow. Okay, where's my white out? Eh. Oh well. I'll do it in the morning. Nighty night, Journal.

**Oh my gosh, I'm so proud! I seriously didn't think I'd get this chapter up until Friday but I got some time on the computer so I got to put it up! I'm super busy this week, jsut to let you all know so I probably won't be updating until Saturday. I don't know for sure though. Anybutt (haha) I hope you guy's enjoyed the first installment of my newest fanfiction, _Why Guy's shouldn't write in Diaries_. Yay! Reviews would be kindly appericated! **


	2. Herasechocie, Seaball

**Hey guys! I appreciated the ****feedback****. I hope yall like this story so far. It'll be jammed pack with Moliver moments later on in the story. The same with Lackson, (which I love!) and it should be coming soon, so keep your eyes peeled for small little hints! Cause trust me, they'll be there! R&R! **

**Chapter 2:**

**January 22****nd**

**Homeroom, my desk, 8:45 AM**

La-da-da. Mr. Herasechocie (pronounced Her.ass.is.choky) is late. _Again._

Last Friday he was late because his cat swallowed one of his collector coins along with a penny. Mr. Herasechocie (hahaha every time I think of his last name I think of Miley. I have no clue why) was devastated.

When they gave the coin back to him (and before they had the chance to wash it), he kissed it passionately. My mom's a veterinarian at the place he went to so that's how I got all the juicy tails.

Hahaha… juicy tails… we're talking about cats… haha. Wow. Lame much?

Now people meow at him when he walks through the halls. I feel kind of bad for him, but he _is_ the guy who lives with his mother (who looks like she's a he and has been around since the Ice Age) and has seven cats named after the seven dwarfs from Snow White. Yeah.

I wonder if the guy's ever had a girlfriend in his life. These things make me wonder… Lilly and Miley are looking at me and are reaching over…

HEYYYYYYY!!!!!! WEEE _LOVEEE_ YOUUU!!!!!!! YAY!!!! Love, Miley and Lilly. PS: Oliver's _bestest best friends_ in the whole wide world. PPS: Sorry, but Oliver needs to talk to _US_ instead of _YOU_ so _ha_! PPPS: Love you!!! PPPPS: Yay!!!

**January 22****nd**

**Geometry, my desk, 9:30 AM**

Well, we all found out why Herassischokey was late today.

His Ice Age mother had fallen off the… er… toilet… and she had to go to the ER because she broke her wrist on the hard ceramic floor.

I'm sorry that I laughed, Journal. But you have to admit that that _is_ pretty darn funny. I mean, think about it.

An old lady sitting on the pot doing what she does best and all of the sudden she spazzes out or whatever and ends up on the floor with a broken wrist. What's not to laugh at?

Well, actually, double thinking that, maybe you _shouldn't_ think about it. Shivers from gross mental picture.

When I started to chuckle softly, however, Miley and Lilly were immediately on my case. Like right now, I am noticing Miley staring at me. It's kind of odd, and I can definitely tell she isn't staring because of my constant writing in you.

Okay, I admit. I have a Journal addiction. It's worse than kissing. Well, if I actually ever kissed one girl more than once, that is.

Miley just got in trouble for facing me. She's sitting in the desk in front of mine and was looking back at me for what seemed to be ages.

Seriously, what's so great about me? Well, I guess a lot of things.

I _ammmm_ Smokin Oken and have left many girls heartbroken… or maybe the other way around… but mostly I dumped them because it was awkward or whatnot.

Lilly just passed Miley a note. Miley reads it and turns bright red, then crumpling it up and slides it into her hot pink notebook. I pass Lilly a note. It said this '_Lilly… what did you say to Miley in that note_?' I waited a few seconds before a response came back… '_I told her she was drooling. She was also zoning out and staring at you_.'

I flushed bright red. She smirked. Journal, why does this keep happening to me? Lilly, sitting next to Miley, gave a '_haha_ _you're_ _blushing_' type of look. I roll my eyes and continue writing.

Oh jolly wolly crap. Teacher's asking me a question. I'll talk more later.

**January 22****nd**

**Lunch, 11:37, table **

Today has been an interesting day so far.

I swear, I think I have like a zit on my eyelids or something. Miley keeps staring at them. It's kind of embarrassing.

I think she thinks my eyes are funny looking. I already know that she is not lovin the whole 'one nostril bigger than the other' ordeal. Is my eye droopy or something? If it is I would appreciate two certain teenage girls to tell me. This kind of information is useful.

_That_ was _weird_. Miley and Lilly just excused themselves so they could take a break to the '_piddily diddily department'_. What in the world of dead socks is the _piddily diddily department_? It sounds like a grocery store or something. Wait, I thinking I'm thinking of the Piggily Wiggily. Or whatever.

Well, I'm gonna stop writing now cause I'm getting some interested and some weirded out glances and stares from fellow classmates.

So goodbye for now. Toodles!

Ahem. I mean later.

**January 22nd**

**Home, 11:30 PM, my bed**

Well, that was a very interesting day. I told you most of it, but I didn't get to tell you the Gym part.

Okay, so me, Lilly, and Miley all have the same gym period. So we were all walking on our way to gym (which wasn't very far away). When we split our separate ways to go into our locker rooms, I was bombarded by teenage guys asking me thousands and millions and trillions of questions.

Haha, that reminded me of that book… Hundreds, Thousands, Millions of Cats or whatever. Herassischokey read it on the first day back.

Herassischokey is kind of hard to write out so I think I'm just gonna say Chokeyass from now on. Seriously, it's so much easier. Anyway, back to the story.

I was bombarded with questions as I made my way through the male locker rooms. Freaky questions like this were being asked to me like five hundred times per second, 'Are you going out with Miley?' and 'Do you think Miley's hot? Cause I think she's smokin' and 'Finallyyyy you and Miley!'

It was very, very strange. Es muy, muy extraño. If you know any Spanish then you would know what that says. If you don't… well just read what I had written right before.

Like a pro, I ignored these questions and proceeded to change into my gym uniform. For some reason I wished I was in the girl's locker room… it would be nice to… erm, never mind. I shook my head slightly (to get hair out of my eyes, make it messy… and remove the thought from my head) and I walked out of the locker room.

Miley and Lilly were standing there arguing about something.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" I asked them confused. "Miley won't admit to me that she likes yo…" "You…tube!" Miley finished. "What?" I asked. "What?" Lilly asked back. "What?" Miley said. "Nothing." Lilly said. "Okay…" Miley and I said together. She looked at me and started to giggle, making my face flush.

We walked into the gym door. "Ewww it smells like sour socks!" Miley said disgustedly. "Yeah…" "Doesn't it always?" Lilly sighed. "Everyone, against the wall!"

Ms. Seabaugh walked out of her closet clapping her hands. Everyone rushed and stood against the wall. I stood next to Miley and Lilly next to her and Nate Albertson. He looked at Lilly curiously and shook his head, messing up his hair.

Lilly smiled at him and he smiled back. Miley looked at them interestingly and I had to whisper in her ear, "Miley, don't even think about meddling." She acted as if she couldn't hear me and nodded her head, smiling while biting bottom her lip.

Mmmmhhh thinking back I can't believe I didn't want to go up and suck on it... Oh my god, Oken. What are you _thinking?!_

"Miley, you won't meddle will you? Oh what am I kidding, you're so about to meddle." "Ohhh yeahhh." Miley said while nodding.

I rolled my eyes and focused my attention on Ms. Seabaugh.

"We are going to lift weights today," Ms. Seabaugh barked.

Some kids call her Sealball because she barks like a seal and is a gym teacher, hence the word ball.

The girls, including Miley and Lilly groaned along with some of the guys, but me and several others hollered loud 'whoots!'

"But first," Sealball continued, "You all are running fifteen laps because of your lack of enthusiasm." "But I didn't grumble!" I said loudly and several other guys agreed. "Oliver," She began, "Your right. Run an extra four laps. I HATE it when my students are right!"

Is it just me, or is there something wrong with that picture? Shouldn't teachers be glad that their pups are RIGHT for once? Eh, whatever. It is Sealball after all. Huh. That kind of rhymed.

I groaned again and joined all the other students in running. Soon, everyone else completed their laps and I still had three more to go. Since I knew that I would be late for weight lifting, I scurried through my laps.

Finally, red faced and breathing hard, I walked into the weight room. Sealball was nowhere to be seen and some of the guys were having a weight lifting contest, which is officially illegal at our school. It's been illegal since 1992 when a kid tore four ligaments in his right arm and three in left. Oh yeah the guy's name was Chad Marcus, and he was the captain of the football team. He and this geeky kid had a weight lifting contest... guess who won? Geeky kid. Kind of sad, isn't it?

The popular rich girls (which is a very good portion of the girls in our class) were standing around playing with their hair and doing each other's nails. Miley and Lilly, on the other hand were both doing crunches on the small, green exercise balls.

"Hey Oliver, come here for a second!" Lilly called out to me. "Coming!" I said as I strutted my way past the now gigging girls. "Smokin Oken at your service! What can I get for ya?" Miley rolled her eyes and said, "Oliver, are you a relationship expert?" "No…" I said. "Then why do you are you talking like a person who owns a dating service?"

Burn. That was hot. Sings Ice, Ice Baby. And oh my gosh, I didn't mean it like that.

Lilly burst out laughing, and in mid-crunch, gave Miley a 'well deserved' high five. "What did you guys want?" I asked them, rolling my eyes. "Well…" Lilly began. "Nate asked her out and they were wondering if we wanted to see a movie with them." Miley finished. It's kind of weird how they do that all the time. Then I realized what Miley had said, I raised an eyebrow and said, "As a date?" "No!" Miley said and for a second time, Lilly burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked her as she held up her pointer up at me as if to say 'hang on, let me regain control'.

Finally, after a couple more seconds of laughing, she started doing crunches again. As she leaned into her second crunch, she said, "No." Crunch "Just as friends." Crunch "It'll be fun!" Crunch, crunch. Miley was also doing crunches, nodding in agreement to what Lilly was saying.

For some reason, I felt kind of upset. I don't know why, but I've been wondering why I feel different a lot lately.

But anyway, now I have a friend date with Miley and Lilly and Nate on Friday night. Yipee.

Well, I have some reading to do so I'll write more later!

Good night, Journal.

**Wow! That took me longer than I thought. I hope you all like this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Oh, by the way, I ****have a mean teacher named Ms. Seabaugh at my school. But she isn't the gym teacher and she wears Mickey Mouse stuff. Yikes. Reviews would be much appericated :)**


	3. Torture is this Love

**Hey guys!**** Thanks to **_**everyone**_** who favorite/review/and put on his or her story alert! You don't know how much all that means to me! Okay, now that I got THAT out of the way... ****Here I am with the third chapter entitled Torture is this Love! Enjoy!**** PS: Small amount of Late (Lilly Nate) and Lackson (Lilly Jackson)****, some Jiley (Miley Jake...grr...), and some Moliver (Miley Oliver :D)****. Eeep! **

**Chapter 3:**

**Torture is this Love**

**January 23****rd**

**Homeroom, my desk, 8:32 AM**

This is torture. Since when do I have to get up for school at 6:00?! Well, since Miley needs help picking out an outfit because her other best friend that happens to be a girl is sick with a low temp fever and cough.

Okay, I'm like, unbelievably tired. I'm falling asleep as I write this. I didn't even eat BREAKFAST this morning. That proves just how tired I am. I missed the most valuable meal of the day. Eh, maybe I can get an apple from Miley. She always has random fruit in her locker… like that ONE time I found a half of a watermelon in it. Weird, eh?

But back to the story of this morning. I was rudely awoken when my phone started singing 'If We Were a Movie' by Hannah Montana. I don't know why that's the song Miley picked for my ring tone.

I glanced at the clock. Its glowing green numbers told me it was 5:45.

"Hey Oliver?" Miley asked. She sounded happy and chipper. "Hey Miley," I mumbled, "What do you want?" "Oh, sorryyy Mr. Grumpy Pants. I just wanted to call and ask a hugeeeee hugeeee favor." "What?" "Well, Lilly's sick with a cough and a low temp." "Okay…" I said, trying to understand what she was trying to say. "And I need help picking out an outfit." Oh no. "Um… why?" I asked. "Becauseee I have to look great today!" She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Why?" I asked again. "Just cause I like someone and I want him to notice me!" "Oh… okay. Who do you like?" "I can't tell you." "Why not?" I asked her sweetly. "Because I know he doesn't like me, okay?" She snapped, her sweetness turning to bitterness quicker than you can say 'moody'. "Who's Mr. Grumpy pants now…" I muttered under my breath. "Excuse me?" She wanted to know. "Nothing… I just said… where's my favorite pants…" I quickly covered. "Oh, okay. Love you Ollie!" She said. Wha… "What?" "Kidding!" She said, her voice strained. "Okay. Bye. You too." I added.

WHAT?! But luckily for me, she had already hung up. I rolled over, preparing to go back to sleep. I closed my eyes and then… my phone started ringing once more. "Hello?" I asked annoyedishly. **(A/N: another new word: annoyedishly. Definition: when you are annoyed by something annoying. Hmmh.) **

"Hey Oliver?" It was Miley's sweet voice again.

Wait, did I just say Miley's voice is sweet? I didn't mean that! I swear, Journal! I swear on you! I swear on your life! Wait, you can't die anyway so what the heck.

"Yeah?" I asked back after thinking for a few moments. "Sorry to interrupt again but I need you over here in 30 minutes." "Ugh… Do I have to?" "If you want to make me happy!" She giggled. "Fine, I'll be there. Just fifteen more minutes. Then I'll take a shower." "Kay." Miley said.

When we said our goodbyes, I threw the phone on my bed and closed my eyes, where I would have a very good yet strange dream.

"I love you." A girl with dark brown, wavy hair told me. "I love you too." I answered. She pulled me into her and we shared an amazing, three minute long kiss. When I pulled apart, I realized I had no idea who the girl I just kissed was. I was thinking… Amanda? No, her hair is coppery. The sun suddenly was caught behind the clouds and I was able to see the girls face properly. "Miley?!" And then I woke up.

Crapity, crap-crap. Teach is here. Bye.

**January 23****rd**

**Spanish, 10:24 AM, my desk**

Anyway, back to what I was saying before Herassischokey arrived. He was late again, by the way.

I woke up and it was 6:00. 'Crap,' I thought, 'I need to take a shower.' I quickly rolled out of bed and grabbed some clothes.

I walked into my bathroom that's in between the two rooms that belong to me and my brother.

I yawned and stretched as I leaned down to turn the water on. I stripped and hopped in. The warm water cascaded around my shoulders. I grabbed my shampoo and pored some in my hand. I scrubbed my head while singing 'One in a Million'.

Finally, I hopped out of the shower and quickly dressed. I brushed my teeth and hair, dried my hair with a towel and ran downstairs.

I left a quick note on the fridge for my mom, and grabbing my backpack, I quickly walked out of the front door.

It was still semi dark when I got outside. My still-damp hair was in my face, making me shiver. I hopped in my car and drove to Miley's house.

Soon, I got to Miley's. I parked my car, shoved my keys into my pocket and ran to her door. I tousled my hair and waited impatiently.

Miley walked to the door, opened it and smiled. She was still in her pajamas (a blue tank top and silver and green striped boxer shorts), and her hair was in a messy bun. She smiled warmly at me and it made my heart flutter. I grinned back, my smile crooked, but at least my teeth are straight and white!!

"Sorry about my pajamas," Miley apologized. "It's okay." I said, "You look wonderful. And you smell like peaches." Oh, crap. "Oliver, Smokin Oken, say what?" Miley gawked. "Kidding!" I covered. 'Real smooth, Oken. Righto.' I thought to myself.

"Oliver?" She said. "Yeah?" I said louder than I intended. "We need to be quiet so Jackson and dad won't wake up." "Okay." I whispered. "You don't have to whisper, you donut." She said, hitting me in the head with her bear, Beary.

We both have stuffed bears. Another thing Miley and I share in common. Of course, Miley and Lilly don't know of this, praise the heaven almighty.

"Sorry!" I said quietly. "Come on," She said dragging me by the hand as soon as I took perch on the arm of her couch, "Let's go pick out my outfit!"

We raced up the stairs and finally reached her room. She held a finger up to her lips as we closed the door. "Hannah closet." She whispered. I nodded and walked in.

I'd never been in the Hannah closet before. Sure, I've been in her room, but not the Hannah closet. It was HUGE! It was the size of my room!

"Why are you picking out an outfit from your Hannah closet?" I wanted to know as Miley shuffled/slid over in her fuzzy socks to where a rack of clothes was. She looked at me and said, "I'm not. I have some of my own clothes in here too." "Oh, okay." "Yeah. Should I wear this skirt with this shirt or these pants with this shirt or these leggings with this top or this dress with tights?" "What?" I said.

Miley let out a sigh. "What should I wear out of these?" "Hmmh…" I said, rubbing my chin.

'Crap,' I thought, 'I forgot to shave.'

Miley stood there, arms folded and foot tapping, "Well?" "Well, I think you should wear these," I pulled out a pair of dark wash jeans, "This," I said, selecting a hot pink lacy tank top thing with thin straps, "This," I pulled a dark grey, soft hoodie with a small pocket in the front, "And these." I said, grabbing a pair of grey ballerina looking shoes. "That," Miley said to me, "is a masterpiece." I grinned and gave a small bow saying, "Thank you. Thank you very much." "Thank you, _Elvis_, but I need to get ready." "Okay," I said, plopping myself down on a squashy arm chair. "You need to leave." She said, pointing to the door. "Fine." I pouted and walked out of the room.

A good hour later, Miley walked out of her closet. She had on the outfit I picked out. Her hair was wavy and her skin looked flawless. She smelled even better than she had this morning.

"How do I look?" She smiled, turning around in a circle with a hand on her hip. "BEAUTIFUL!" I blurted out. She looked at me funnily and to cover up… "YOU'RE LIPS ARE SHINY!" She looked at me as if I were an insane sixteen year old boy. "YOU SMELL LIKE VANILLIA!" "Oliver say what?" She said, her accent defined. "Erm…"

And yeah. That's all I'm gonna say since everything after that is way too embarrassing to even think about telling you. Even though I do trust you even more than I trust Lilly. But that's because you can't go blabbing.

Uh oh. Gotta go.

**January 23****rd**

**Lunch, 11:42, table**

Wow. I mean, WOW. You won't believe the dumb butt thing I did.

I walked into the girls' bathroom.

Yeah, you heard me. I accidently mistook the girls' bathroom as the GUYS bathroom.

And Journal, Miley and Lilly were in there. Lilly was fixing her hair while Miley was tugging self-consciously on her shirt.

"Lilly! I just can't walk up to him and say I love you Oliver!"

Yeah. You heard me right. "WHAT?!" "OLIVER!" Lilly and Miley screamed. Before I knew what was happening, I was shoved out of the girls' bathroom and landed on the floor with a 'thud'.

Ewww… that reminds me of that story that I read for History… 'Thud dead. Thud dead. Thud dead. Thud dead.' And to admit it, I WISH I was thud dead.

Miley and Lilly are ignoring me now.

I know that I probably just walked in at the wrong time, and I know that Miley doesn't really love me.

I bet Lilly was just daring Miley to do something stupid like that one time… she dared Miley to kiss Nate Albertson's older brother, TJ. And she did.

It's not that TJ's ugly… I mean to girl's they think he's pretty hot. I know this because Miley was raving about how 'gorgeous' his auburn hair was.

For some reason, I wished I had his auburn hair instead of my own dark brown.

Okay, well this is a good sign. Miley and Lilly just came and sat with me.

Miley and Lilly need to talk to me so I'll write back…

Journal- Miley and Lilly here! We just wanna let you know that Oliver's in love with you! Yep! Luversssssss kisseys… huggeys… slappers… AHHAHA! Bye! We lurveeee you! Smiley Miley and Lillykins

**January 23****rd**

**Lunch, 11:45 AM, table**

Okay... that's all I have to say. Nate came up to Lilly, Miley, and me and he sat down next to Lilly. I was sitting across from Miley, as usual, and Lilly was sitting next to her. So when Nate came with his tray, Lilly cooed over him. "Oh, how nice of you to sit with us!" Miley raised an eyebrow and rested her chin the palm of her hand. I licked my pen thoughtfully. Miley narrowed her eyes when she saw Jackson staring pointedly at Lilly. I noticed this too and chuckled softly to myself.

I know more than anyone that Jackson loves Lilly. He does anything to just be at her side… even at Hannah concerts when she's dressed up as Lola… I can still see him staring across the room at her while she's hitting on a random guy.

Anyway, Nate and Lilly were flirting as if they were middle-schoolers who didn't know what to say to a crush.

HOLD UP A SECOND… is that…? Jake?!

**Later at lunch**

It WAS Jake. It was about two years ago when Miley and him decided to be friends… and he left for another movie in Rome, and never returned.

Miley ran up to him with this huge smile plastered on her face… and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her… and that's when I realized it.

I, Oliver Oken, am deeply and desperately in love with my best friend, Miley Stewart, aka worldwide known… Hannah Montana.

Sucks, huh? Yeah life sure is a walk in the park right now. Currently, Miley and Jake are sucking each other's lips off despite the teachers yelling at them every five seconds for PDA.

I feel like someone just reached into my chest and grabbed my heart and stomped on it repeatedly. I need to talk to Lilly.

I promise to write back later, Journal.

January 23rd

My room, 11:38, my bed

Well Journal, I was told a very shocking story from Lilly.

Miley loved me. She was heads over heels with me. And I didn't even know.

She doesn't love me anymore though… since Jake's back. Lilly said she talked to Miley about me… she won't ever love me back, ever again.

Why didn't I know about this yesterday when I didn't know about my feelings? If I was told… then everything would be different.

Miley wouldn't be with that jerk, Jake Ryan. Okay, so he isn't really a jerk. But I don't like him for stealing my Miley.

Wait… my Miley? I wish. In my dreams, Oken.

WHY DO I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND?! ARGHHHH! Life sucks monkey ass. Blah.

**That was chapter three! Sorry it was kind of short… but yeah. I really hope you guys liked that one! I had a pretty fun time writing it. :D Rate/review- I'll be a happy bunna :P**


	4. The Conversation

**PLEASE READ ME!!**

**Hey guys! Mucha thanks for the reviews- totally lurveeee ****those :D****. Happy ****bunna**** gets striked again!**** Er… happy ****bunna**** strikes back!**** Erm****… right. Anyway, enjoy the FOURTH chapter of this fanfiction! XD**

**PS: Things are about to get a lot more ****intresting****…**

**Pairings for chapter 4: Lotes **_(Spanish word for lots for the dumb... well actually for the non-Spanish speaking folk)_** of Late, Jiley, unpoco of Moliver and Lackson. Btw, I hope you guys know that I'm for Moliver and Lackson 100 but this is just for my story and there WILL be LOTS of Moliver/Lackson fluffy goodness and stuff in the future. Yay! **

**Chapter 4:**

**The Conversation **

**(A/N: lame chapter title, I know... ( ) **

**January 24****th**

**Miley's House, Miley's bed, 6:45 AM**

I got up at six again. Boo.

Anyway, currently Miley and Lilly are having a tug-o-war fest over a lime green tee shirt with a silver horse on the front. This is entertaining.

HAHAHA Miley just fell on Lilly's cup of OJ!!! ROFL! Anyway, Miley is now tugging on Lilly's hair, Lilly tugging on it as well, trying to get it out of her grasp… and the shirt is carelessly flung aside by the other best friend.

I'll be right back, Journal.

**January 24****th**

**Miley's house, Miley's bed, 6:50 AM**

Well, they both decided that they didn't want the lime green shirt with the silver horse on the front.

Miley decided on a white tank top with grey beads on the bottom and a grey little shrunken jacket with a pair of grey leggings and navy blue and dark grey flats. Lilly's wearing an elbow length white shirt with grey sleeves and a florally pattern on it, a pair of matching plaid shorts and flats.

Miley's hair, as usual, is down and wavy while Lilly's is up in a high pony tail. I'm just sitting here wearing a pair of jeans, a black tee shirt that says 'Paramore' on it and a pair of black and red Nike Shocks.

God… Miley looks so hot… and she's wearing the silver hoops and necklace I gave her for Christmas! . Does happy dance I really wonder if she used to love me…

"Oken!" Lilly I saying to me, "Get up or you won't have any pancakes!" "Pancakes?" "Yup!" She is saying happily. Sorry journal, but pancakes are pancakes!

Oken's out!

later edit Wow. That was lame.

January 24th

Lunch, 11:30, table

Today has been eventful. I walked up on Miley and Jake making out near the snack machines, I saw Ashley and Amber being bombarded with paper airplanes while walking to homeroom this morning (it was really haha worthy), and most importantly, Lilly told me a secret.

"Oliver?" Lilly asked as we walked to Geometry. Miley had already went with Jake so it was just me and Lilly. "What?" "I have to tell you something about Miley." "Okay." I said, slowing my pace a bit.

I needed to hear this because from the sounds of things, it was muy, muy importante.

Once again, if you know nada of español then I would highly suggest to search it on Google's language tool.

"Miley still loves you, Oliver." "What? Then why is she going out with Jake?" "Because it's all a part of her "plan" to make you…" She stopped, taking a side glance at me. "To make me what?" I asked. God, this woman is SO much of a killer whale at times. "Jealous." "Jealous? Miley. No. Miley wouldn't do something like that!" "Think again, lover boy." Lilly said, patting my head as if talking to a four year old giving them directions on how to wipe their booty.

Okay, so we went to Geometry, blah, blah, blah, nothing exciting. But boy was study hall a walk in the park.

"Hey Miley." Jake said as he walked up to her. "Hey Jake!" She smiled, kissing him on the lips. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

I know what you're thinking, Journal. And I don't want you to start thinking that! I'm NOT jealous! No, really, I'm not! Journal, why aren't you listening to me?! I am NOT jealous of that Jake of an ass Ryan! Wow… okay, so maybe I am a little bit. But not enough to go up to him and say 'I love Miley, Jake!' Oh wait. I already did that…

"Jake?" I asked him as he was kissing Miley. Jake pulled away and Miley looked at me strangely. "Yeah?" He asked, sounding somewhat perturbed, but this didn't bother me at all.

And yes, Journal, I DID use the word perturbed. Proud?

I pulled Jake over to the side, stared him straight in the eye and said, "Jake, I'm I love with Miley." He goggled at me as if I were a fish wearing a scuba suit, goggles, and flippers. "What?" He asked, shaking his head like a poor little puppy with water in his ears. "I'm. In love. With Miley!" I said slowly, pronouncing ever word with care. "You… really?" Jake asked. I nodded, then gulped.

Maybe I should have thought twice before I pulled him over like that… "Well, I'm glad you're finally admitting to it." WHAT?!

Okay, out of all things that I thought Jake fricking Ryan would say to me, that was the least that I thought he would say. "Wha…?" "Everyone knows it, man. Don't you know that you stare at her 24/7?"

Uh oh. People see that?

"Oh…" I said. "It's alright," He said to me, patting me on the shoulder, "I understand. Look, I'm just glad you finally admitted your feelings. I'm sorry though… but Miley's mine."

Okay, that was a strange twist on an okay conversation.

Wow. I just saw Lilly kissing Nate. What's this world coming to? Apparently, Jackson saw it too because he just sulked off towards the door and left the lunchroom. I feel for that guy…

Crap. I promised my friend Will a game of pool. Gotta go.

**Wednesday, January 25****th**

**6:55, Miley's house, Miley's bedroom, Miley's bed**

I think this has become a weekly schedule! Me waking up at 6:00 and coming over here to Miley's house to help her and Lilly pick out outfits.

Lilly sometimes wears Miley's clothes, but most of the time she just brings a bag with some clothes in it and Miley helps her find something out of those clothes.

Miley is still in the shower while Lilly is getting dressed.

After a half hour of contemplating, they decided on their outfits. Miley is wearing a short sleeved green tee-shirt with a deep 'V' cut and a yellow tank top underneath paired with denim shorts and yellow flats with buttons on the sides. Lilly chose a lime green and kelly green striped shirt with a hood and a white tee shirt underneath, an orange hat, a pair of white shorts and white and orange flip flops.

I'm wearing a brown Hollister tee shirt, a pair of jeans and brown shoes. Yummy. Hahaha. Smoken Oken looks smoken. Hah. Wow another lame joke.

FINALLY Miley's out of the shower! She already dried her hair and put on her makeup, making her ready to go.

Lilly, on the other hand, is still struggling with her blonde hair.

Now Miley's helping her braid it into a side braid. Miley says a good side braid will compliment the orange hat. Whatever…

Miley's house, Miley's living room, 7:38

Finally, we're almost ready to leave.

As usual, I'm driving Lilly and Miley to school. Not that I mind or anything cause I love it. The girls always make fun of the teachers at school… there was this rumor that Mr. Herassischokey was having an affair with our librarian, Mrs. (yes, Mrs. She's married!!!.. or rather was) Merlin.

Somehow, the rumors were proved correct and in tears, Mrs. Merlin filed for divorce. Too bad things didn't work out with Chokeyass… not like anything could happen cause it's a school rule: teachers are not allowed to date other teachers, students, ext. Unless married to insert type of person here, they are not allowed to have any type of affair.

Anyway. I gotta go, the girls are out in my car honking the horn furiously. And ferociously. Better go!

**That was a really short ****chappy****. Sorry about that. I'm sick today so I couldn't really come up with anything good but I really needed to update for you guys. I promise the next chapter will be amazing! ****Yay.**** Oh yeah, before I forget… you see that pretty purple little button at the bottom of the screen? I ****belive**** it's on the left hand side… I think. Well, if you click the 'go' button, it does something awesome! Review please and make me happy bananas! MAKE ME HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you all- Maddie.**

**PS: There will be a new song next chapter entitled 'The Story of my Broken Heart'. Watch out for it! **


	5. Mr Ashleen Davis

**Hello all! Thanks again for the reviews! Happy dances Anyway, the real drama starts here… chapter 5:D Yay! Keep it up because YOU are the people who keep this story going! Sure, I'm here to write the thing but you guys keep me going! Yay! Oh yeah, you all should be uber happy that I was sick again today so I had time to write!!!!! Hurrah! Eh... I need to get out more often... lol :P**

**Pairings for this chapter:**

**Late, Jiley, some Moliver, a sprinkle of Lackson, andddd dun, dun, dun…... Olleen (Oliver… and Ashleen) **

**Chapter 5:**

**Ashleen Davis**

**Wednesday, January 25****th**

**8:00, Lockers**

To Journal:

As I stand here writing in you, Miley and Lilly are fussing over their hair.

I don't know how we managed it, but us three have our lockers right next to each others. Cool, huh? I think Lilly may have bribed our principal into it though…

I love Miley so much… she's so perfect… she's beautiful beyond anything I've ever seen before. Whoa… who's that?

Write back later.

**Later**

**8:32, Homeroom, my Desk**

Wow. There's a new girl in school. Her name is Ashleen and she's HOT.

She's from some place called New Caledonia. Her skin is tan (but not orange. It's obviously natural, and not just from the sun), her long, wavy black hair reaches just below her back, and she has stunning silver almond shaped eyes. Her face is perfectly shaped and her lips are full and luscious.

Miley said she reminds her of Pocahontas.

I disagree. I said she kind of looked like Jessica Alba.

Miley and Lilly thought otherwise, saying that her hair was too dark and her eyes were silver, not brown. I told them her body was just like Jessica's, receiving two slaps on each arm. Double oucho.

Anyway… she's SO hot! I have a feeling all the guys are going to croon over her… hmmh I love that word. Croon… and I love the way Ashleen's name rolls off the tip of my tongue… Ashleen… Ashleen… Ashleen, Ashleen, Ashleen… well, you get the point, Journal.

La da, la, la, da, la da. I feel like SINGING… I feel like DANCING… I feel like SKIPPING IN THE RAIN… I feel like SOAKING IN MY FAME… oh my god. Did I just sing that out loud?

"Oliver are you a seal?" Miley is asking me "No…" "Then why are you _barking_?" "_I'm SINGING, thank you very much_!" I say.

That was hot. Smokin Oken needs a cup of ice cold lemonade or something. Or a cool shower… wait. NOT LIKE THAT, JOURNAL. PROMISE!

Miley rolls her eyes and flicks a piece of eraser at Lilly. Lilly is flirting with Nate, as usual, and doesn't seem to notice the piece of eraser. "Oliver?" "Uh huh?" I say, looking at Ashleen. "Oliver! Earth to Oliver!" Miley was saying. "Wha…?" I am broken from my trance by getting hit in the head with Miley's notebook.

"OW!" "Oliver, I was asking if you have a piece of paper!" "You want me to mate her?" "NO!" "Oh, then what did you say?" "I SAID do you have a piece of paper!" "A piece of tape fur?" "NO! PAPER!" "Oooh paper! Why didn't you say so in the first place?" "I DID!" By this time, the entire class was silent, and all eyes were on us. Can you say EMBARRISING?! "Yeah, here." I said handing her a piece of loose-leaf I got out from my black binder. It says Paramore on it. Miley gave it to me for my birthday last year. Favorite present that year! Yeah-yuh!

I love Paramore. Best band EV-ER!

Anyway… Argh… I don't know… I thought I liked Miley… but maybe… maybe I don't anymore. She IS over me, right? RIGHT? RIGHT, JOURNAL? RIGHT?!

Again. Blah, I expected an answer from you again, Journal. Am I getting lonely or WHAT? I need a girlfriend

Ugh. Miley and Jake are making kissy faces at each other. I don't really know why this bothers me like this but it does. A lot. UGH. Life sucks fish whiskers.

Anyway, Mr. Herassischokey is here (after make out or you-know-what session with Mrs.… or would it be Ms. now?... his hair is all tousled and his tie is untied. Gags). Gotta go, he's about to BLOW!!! His face is all red…

Ew, no Journal you're more perverted than me!

Eh, my imagination is getting the better of me. Idios, retardos. Or whatever… hmmh. See ya later, alligator.

At this point, Journal, you're supposed to say 'see ya tomorrow, crocodile **(A/N that may be different than ya'll learned it but my dad also has a creative side which is where I can come up with stuff like 'life sucks monkey ass' and 'life sucks fish whiskers' or even a name like 'Herassischokey'.)**

Wednesday, January 25th

Lilly's room, Lilly's house, a certain time…

I'm over here at Lilly's house "studying" with her, Nate, Miley, and Jake.

The only productive thing that they're doing is making out. If you call that productive, cause I call it gross.

After a half hour of studying alone (pity pity, poor poor me ), I decided that I could take a break from my History and write a while.

OH YEAH! I was searching through Miley's backpack for a pen and I found lyrics to a new song. I know she wouldn't want me to read them but I did anyway. The song was entitled 'The Story of my Broken Heart'.

No, Journal, I did NOT stoop down low enough to copy down the lyrics when she thought I was copying her Advanced English notes… okay, yes I did. Here's the song (I found some blue duct tape in Lilly's bathroom when I was going… don't ask me WHY Lilly keeps duct tape in her bathroom. I don't understand the female minds… ESPECIALLY Lilly's.), so I'm taping it on here. Here it is:

**(A/N: The italicized parts of the songs are the verses and the bolded lines are the refrain. Just thought I would let you know that)**

_You're everything that I've ever wanted_

_But you walked away_

_You will never see what I love you for_

_You went astray_

_On this path of silver and gold_

_You said no…_

_You make everything just seem so right_

_But I want you to know_

_Before you go…_

_**I could give you anything, I would do just anything**_

_**I would go across the world if it would make you change your mind**_

_**I could say anything, I would do just anything**_

_**To have you say "I wish you were mine"**_

_**But I know that it will never happen**_

_**It'll be the end of this story**_

_**The story of my broken heart**_

_I sometimes wonder what it would be like_

_If you said that I was the girl for you_

_It would make me see an extraordinary light,_

_Shed away my disguise, open your eyes_

_Every day I wish you'd come to me_

_And take me by the hand_

_We could run away, just talk all day_

_And nothing would have to be planned_

_But I want you to know_

_Before you go…_

_**I could give you anything, I would do just anything**_

_**I would go across the world if it would make you change your mind**_

_**I could say anything, I would do just anything**_

_**To just have you **__**say**__** "I wish you were mine"**_

_**But I know that it will never happen**_

_**It'll be the end of this story**_

_**The story of my broken heart**_

_You're pulling me in, taking me down_

_Making me feel like I nothing to lose_

_You don't even know_

_What I'm willing to show…_

_I guess I'll just have to go_

_But_

_You're always with me, always around_

_You just don't understand_

_How I feel…_

_I love you_

_Don't you __see_

_That you are everything I wanna be with_

_You are the only one I wanna be with… _

_Yeah-e-yeah _

_**I could give you anything, I would do just anything**_

_**I would go across the world if it would make you change your mind**_

_**I could say anything, I would do just anything**_

_**To just have you **__**say**__** "I wish you were mine"**_

_**But I know that it will never happen**_

_**It'll be the end of this story**_

_**The story of my broken heart**_

_Oh, oh_

_You're the text inside my book_

_Oh, yeah, oh_

_I guess you'll never… know_

Sad, isn't it? I couldn't help to wonder who it was about…

Obviously, it wasn't about me so I just threw away that dream.

Speaking of dreams… I had to take an icy shower this morning.

Yes, Journal, to answer your question that I know your just _DYING_ to know, it _WAS_ about Miley… and it wasn't the normal just making out type of dream… it was the whole cosa (thing).

ANYWAY, enough about my 'dirty' dreams… CRAP.

Dear Diary,

Is it really true that my little Ollie had a dream that Miley was on his Trolly?! Oh my gawd, wait till I tell Miley! She'll be oh so jolly! Oh my gawd, Olliekins Diary… all that TOTALLY rhymed! I should be a poet! I could be a writer… and write poems about bikers that like to have tigers under their lighters that like to bite… er's! Yay! I am the rhyming QUEEN DIVA EXTRODINARE! Viola! I gotta go love you, Ollie Wollie's jolly diary!

XOXOXOXOXOX (and extra X's and O's), LILLY TRUSCOTT!

Thursday, January 26th

My room, my bed, 10:40

Journal-

I am SO, SO, SO SORRY that Lilly kept calling you my Diary! I really hope you know that that is just how Lilly is, so WAH and WHOO and OUT THERE! WEEE DOGGIES!

Guess what??? No, you'll never guess. Yes you will! No, no you won't! Yes you will! No you won't! Okay, fine. It's taking you too long to guess so I guess I'll just have to tell YOU.

Remember that date that I was going on with Miley, Nate and Lilly? That me and Miley were gonna go as friends? Wellll… I'm not going with Miley anymore! That's right, Smoken Oken has got himself a date with the one…

The only…

ASHLEEN DAVIS!

Da-yum! The kid is good! I know, I know him! No really, he's really good! I know, I am him! Nahhh you CAN'T be! Think again, LOSER I AM Mr. Ashleen Davis... wait...

Anyway. Miley's going with Jake but I don't care because I'm going with ASHLEEN DAVIS! HELL YEAH!

Oh god. That reminds me. When I called her to ask her tonight (she gave me her phone number today in Geometry- others guys asked for it but she turned them down! She actually handed hers to me! Oliver shoots! He scores! YAY HE'S A TOTAL MAN BABE… wow that sounded odd) her mom answered. The conversation went like this. "Hello, this is Stephanie!" "Um… hi… this is…" "Oh, is the that Smoky Okey that Ashee was talking about?" In the background I heard a girl whining, "Mom, give me the phone! And get it RIGHT, it's Smoken Oken, not Smoky Okey!" "Sorry hunny!" She said to the girl. I hear a static noise and I hear… "Is this Oliver?" "Yeah, Ashleen!" "Hey!" She said happily, "I was afraid you wouldn't call!"

One thing, YEAH she was thinking I would maybe call her and then… she thought I was going to call her? She thought I wouldn't? What?

"Oh… yeah. Well, I was wondering if you had any plans for this Friday night at 7:00?" "Lemme check…" I hear shuffling of papers, "No, not anything at 7:00… but I have a modeling thing from 4:30-6:00." "Modeling?" I ask. "Yeah, I'm a model… I'm doing stuff for Ford Agencies…" SHE'S A MODEL FOR FORD ANGENCIES?! "But after that I'll be free!" "Okay! Sounds great!" I say.

I HAVE A DATE WITH A SUPER MODEL! HELL YES!

**Sorry if that lacked Moliver and Lackson. I PROMISE there will be more of it in chapters to come. I hope you liked that chapter! Please review! Love ya guys! Kisseys! Anddd Madeline's… out!**


	6. I Love Her, Journal

**Aww.. aww… only two reviews for last chaptern :( ****Oh well, HUGE thanks to ****iheartdisney128**** and ****MarauderNicki****!!! iheartdisney128- all of your happy faces makes me ****happy :****D**** :D :D. Oh yeah, you're stories are GREAT!! Everyone, if you haven't yet, take a look at her stories! Oh and GREAT videos! I didn't know that you were also musiccrazy128! I'm a HUGEEE FAN!!! Lol, I sounded a bit like Lilly. Okay**** anybutt. ****MarauderNicki, thank you for your kind reviews- they make me smile! Oh yeah, and Paramore is the BEST! **_**Yeah-yuh!**_** Anyway, here's chapter SIX!!! WOOHOO! ****Oh yeah. I'm doing my **_**BESTEST**_** to keep the characters in character! It's a bit hard though… you know, to make a story your own but try to keep Disney's characters real.**** But I hope I'm getting better!**** And I'm sure all of you know that I don't own Hannah Montana… because if I did, you would see MOLIVER and LACKSON!!! And new CHARACTERS that are actually kept!!! Anyway, just read the story. **

**Friday, January 27****th**

**Miley's house, Miley's room, (AGAIN!!!), 6:40 AM**

Yes Journal, I know what you're thinking. Instead of sleeping in (till 7), I wake up at 6 to be a peace maker and designer.

Well, not EXACTLY designer, more like outfit helper picker outer.

But anyway. I AM SO FREAKING EXICTED ABOUT THE DATE TONIGHT!

I'm SO pumped. I actually woke up this morning at 5:55 so I could take an extra long shower and shave an extra long time and take the time to do my hair.

My hair is _ALWAYS_ sexy, _thank you very much_ Journal, but I have to be THE beast tonight. Smokin Oken is back and SO not chokin. OHHHH YEAH!!!

Miley is having a huge controversy (yes Journal, I DID use the word controversy!! Aren't you happy?!) over what top to wear. She's thinking about an egg shell blue tee shirt with a silver peacock on it (but Lilly said it looks like an amateur shirt ) but also likes the lime green and navy something or another.

Lilly on the other hand is totally excited about her outfit.

She's wearing this blue-green cami thing (whatever that is) that has lace around the top and at the bottom. She's wearing this little white jackety thingy over it zipped halfway up, and has on a pair of white Bermuda shorts and white greenish blue flip flops. Her hair is down and straight. I'm surprised she's wearing that. Probably trying to impress Nate, no doubt.

I dressed up a bit. I'm wearing a black polo with this red and white design thingy on the left side of the chest with red and white long sleeved tee shirt underneath and a pair of jeans and my black and red Nikes.

Yup. So that's my life so far.

Anyway. Miley's decided on a hot pink something or another with a navy blue something or another over it. She's wearing… a pair of jimmy jeans or whatever they're called. DUH. Sorry, they're called skinny jeans! I TOTALLY KNEW THAT JOURNAL!!!

No, dude. Really. I knew they were called skinny jeans! Fine, don't believe me. I'M NOT YOU'RE FRIEND ANYMORE.

I'm so sorry Journal! Please forgive me?

Anyway, I'm listening to my iPod and it's on shuffle. Guess what song came up?

Just the Girl I'm Looking For. Perfect, eh?

It's my song for Miley. Here, take a look at the lyrics.

_She's cold and she's cruel_

_But she knows what she's doin'_

_She pushed me in the pool_

_At our last school reunion_

_She laughs at my dreams_

_But I dream about her laughter_

_Strange as it seems_

_She's the one I'm after_

_[Chorus:_

_Cause she's bittersweet_

_She knocks me off of my feet_

_And I can't help myself_

_I don't want anyone else_

_She's a mystery_

_She's too much for me_

_But I keep comin' back for more_

_She's just the girl I'm lookin' for_

_She can't keep a secret_

_For more than an hour_

_She runs on 100 proof attitude power_

_And the more she ignores me_

_The more I adore her_

_What can I do?_

_I'd do anything for her_

_Cause she's bittersweet_

_She knocks me off of my feet_

_And I can't help myself_

_I don't want anyone else_

_She's a mystery_

_She's too much for me_

_But I keep comin' back for more_

_She's just the girl I'm lookin' for_

_The way she sees it's me_

_On her caller ID_

_She won't pick up the phone_

_She'd rather be alone_

_But I can't give up just yet_

_Cause every word she's ever said_

_Is still ringin' in my head_

_Still ringin' in my head_

_She's cold and she's cruel_

_But she knows what she's doin'_

_Knows just what to say_

_So my whole day is ruined_

Yeah. So it goes through the refrain like two more times and then it has some like oh yeahs and stuff or whatever. She really isn't THAT bad but eh. She pushes me and grabs the front of my shirt enough. But at least I have more chest hair now:) If that made ANY sense to you at all, Journal.

Journal, let me set things straight with you. I still love Miley a TON. And despite what I may have said last night, I am still kinda bummed that she's going with Jake. I'm just trying to… you know, forget about her.

No, that sounded totally rude and crude and mean and creamed. Creamed you may be thinking? Shut up. It's the only thing I could think of that rhymes with mean… well, there's lean… cream… beam… seem… teem… beam... wait I said that already, didn't I? Yeah. I did.

Oh well, who else is gonna read this but no one? Anyway.

UGH, JOURNAL! What should a guy do if he's in like deeply in love with one girl but then another one pops up and you start liking her… UGH!!!

I mean, sure, I've only known Ashleen for a day… but she's just so nice! Please help me!!!

I got it. I'll send an email to Hannah, aka Miley.

"Hey Miley? Lilly?" I say as do their hair and makeup. Miley, who is currently applying eyeliner says, "What Oliver?" "Can I go downstairs and use your computer?" "Sure." Lilly answers for her as she applies mascara. If you ask me, the sight is pretty funny.

Both girls are leaning in towards the once person mirror and both of their mouths are open like a fish's gaping 'gurgle gurgle, glub, glub, bubble, bubble' mouth. Wow. Okay… I'm gonna go write that email now.

**Miley's room, Miley's floor**

**Like… 10 minutes later**

Mhhm, mmh. Popcorn for breakfast is almost better than brownies for dinner. Almost.

Anyway. I sent 'Hannah' an email. It said this:

_Dear Hannah,_

_I __need__ some girl advice. I've been in love with this girl for ages but I just realized it a few days ago. But yesterday, a new girl showed up to school. She's really, really pretty and really nice but she still doesn't compare to my best friend. Did I mention this girl is my best friend?__ Oh yeah, this girl that I'm in love with is also in love with a different guy.__ Anyway, I don't know if I should try to forget about the girl or if I should move on. Please respond as soon as you can!_

_So in Love with Two. But really in love with one. But you smell what I'm steppin in. _

I really hope she responds soon. And even more than that, I hope she doesn't figure out who it's from. I didn't sign it which will make her somewhat clueless as to who it is but… I know for sure Miley won't guess. Heck, she doesn't know I've ever even liked her! But Lilly on the other hand…

Lilly's known about me liking Miley from day one… it went something like this.

It was five years ago, and I was eleven and Lilly was ten, but her birthday was in three weeks.

Lilly and I had been best friends since we were four, and we were still as close as always.

Kids always made fun of Lilly and me because they thought we liked each other. Which, at one point, was very true but no one knew that.

I remember one day at preschool, Lilly held my hand for about thirty seconds. I knew then that Lilly was an amazing girl, so I handed her my 64 box of crayons. That's when it all started.

We've been friends ever since.

Anyway, Lilly and I were playing outside at the beach. It was a beautiful day, and we were making a huge sand castle.

Suddenly, we heard someone walking towards us. I turned around on my heels, my hands covered with sand, shielded my eyes, and saw a girl with brown curly hair and a boy with dirty blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. The girl had blue eyes too, so I realized that they must be related.

"Howdy!" The boy said. "My name's Jackson! We just moved here from Tennessee. Ya like my hat? It's new!" He said. His voice was dripping with a southern accent and the girl just stood there with her arms crossed.

She was wearing a blue tank top and jean shorts and no shoes.

"Hi," The girl said, "My name's Miley!" Lilly smiled at her warmly. "Hey! I do like you're belt, Jackson! Oh, where are my manners?" She asked, more to herself than them, "My name's Lilly Truscott. As in the flower lily!" Miley giggled. Lilly stood up and brushed the sand off her hand on the back of her shorts. "I just moved here!" Miley exclaimed happily. "We moved for Han…" Jackson started, "For our daddy's new job." Miley completed, sending him an annoyed glance. "What about your mom?" I spoke up.

I hadn't spoken in all the time I'd seen Miley. She was… beautiful. I wasn't a total donut head to not to be able to figure THAT one out.

"Oh," She laughed, "She's just a normal ol' stay at home mom. Jackson and I used to be homeschooled but now that we're in Malibu, we're going to the public school!" She grinned. "Oh my gosh, really?! Me and Oliver go there too!" Lilly squealed. "That's cool," Jackson says, "Oooh, look a babe! See ya later Miles! Lilly… Oliver." Jackson said politely and then excused himself and ran after the skinny blonde bimbo.

"Aren't your feet hot?" I asked Miley, nodding towards her bare feet. "Ah, no. I'm totally used to it. When I lived in Tennessee, I would always run around barefoot. The hot sand doesn't mind me at all!" She also had a thick southern accent, but not as heavy as her brothers. "So…" I say. "Do you wanna help us with our sand castle?" Lilly invites. "Sure! I'd love to!" "Okay!" I said eagerly as I looked up into those big, round blue eyes.

Lilly looked at me, smirked, looked back down and continued to work on the sandcastle. Little did I know that I was falling in love with the new girl more and more each second…

Crap, crap, donkey's back. I gotta go. I'll write more later.

**Friday, January 27th**

**1:20, 10 minutes before Gym, Locker Room**

Since I had a dentist appointment, I got to miss two classes. I got back fifteen minutes before gym starts.

I'm already in the locker rooms, sitting on a bench and writing on you… with the pink, sparkly pen Miley lent me. It was the only one she had on her at the moment.

This pen is taking away an ounce a second from my manliness. I feel like doodling hearts all over your cover. But I won't do that. That would be like flushing you down the toilet. That gave me some ideas… anywho.

Today has been a bore. I got to talk to Ashleen a little bit and I never really realized how TALL that girl is. I'm like 6'1 and she's almost taller than me.

Yeah, I may have used to be a small, scraggly kid, but now I'm not. I've grown up to be a tall, muscular chick magnet. Yay me!!!

Or maybe more of a chick than a magnet for them…

Anyway.

I love her so much, Journal. What should I do?

Crapity crap. Guys are getting here. Things are mayhem.

They're all talking about the hot girls and I've heard the name 'Ashleen', 'Miley', 'Rebecca', 'Lilly', 'Amber', and 'Ashley' several times already. Gotta put you away before I get killed.

**My room, my bed, 12:30 AM**

THE DATE WAS FABULOUS… I want fab-u-lous that is my simple request… all things fab-u-lous bigger and better and best… and by bigger and better and best… I mean Ashleen's boobs.

Kidding!

No, Journal. Seriously, I'm joking!

Anyway, she looked gorgeous. Drop dead sexy… with her brown, curly hair… her shiny silvery blue eyes… and yes, I'm talking about Miley. I love her so much.

Ashleen is more a friend figure, I've found out. She's a bit… blondish in the brainal area if you know what I'm sayin.

But Miley… wow. I mean, I love her even more than I thought. I love her. More than ever thought was even possible for a sixteen year old teenage guy.

Look, Journal, it's 12:45 in the morning, and I'm really tired out from all the bowling and eating. I'm gonna go. I'll write back as soon as possible. Love ya girl friend!

Wow… that sounded incredibly gay. I seriously need to get some guy friends. Night.

PS: Journal, I'm sorry I called you a girl. You're not a girl. Or my girlfriend. That would be a bit… sad.

**And that's my life so far! No, just kidding, that's the end of chapter SIX!!! Hurrah! I really hope I get more reviews than last time. I'm not trying to be rude for asking for reviews, but I really need to know if people like my story. Love ya girl friends.. boyfriends… what ever yall are :P Peace out. Oh yeah, the song doesn't belong to me- it belongs to The Click Five :D**


	7. Girlfriend?

**Hey everyone!!! Thanks so much for the reviews- they made me totally happy and made me wanna update faster!!! Okay, I have some notes to give people. **

**MarauderNicki****- sorry for your lack of Lackson! There should be some really cute stuff coming soon! **

**StoryT****agger- he is friends with Jackson and Nate but just not best friends. I have a surprise written in this chapter for ya!! And no, Oliver is NOT 6'1, he was exaggerating. He's more like 5'10 or so****He was actually using his purple pen from one of the earlier chapters.**

**iheartdisney128-**** it was certainly NOT a problem to read your stories! I read like, half of the Moliver and Lackson stories on the site, lol. I found yours and I was like AWESOME!!! And then I went to your page and watched your videos and I was like… hmmh… these seem familiar and then I was like POW! ****Ehmagawd****, I KNOW you! Not personally, of course but anywho. **

**IhEaRtMiTcHel128- I updated ****asap****! Yay!!**** Sorry if it wasn't quick enough for any of you- I went skiing this weekend. EEEP! **

**Laura0505- thanks so ****much :D**

**(Dang, I got a lot of reviews for this chapter!!)**

**drummer8907-**** thanks! Don't you worry- there will be more than plenty of Moliver in the future! I like taking things slow, they'll get together around chapter fifteen. There will be 30 chapters in the story hopefully. **

**PS: In case you didn't figure this out already, ****him**** talking to Journal is like him talking to you :P**

**SATURDAY, January 28****th**

**My room, my bed, 11:30 AM**

Hello Journal. I was just _rudely_ awoken by none other than Tiger Lilly (A/N that's my nickname for my cat, Lilly lol) and the endangered Miley Cat.

They both pounced on me when I was off in Dream-A-Gogo Land about the Miley Cat. But she wasn't really cat, she was just Miley… riding my trolley… again… but that's beside the point.

I was happily dreaming away when I was JUMPED by two Californian babes (in my dreams, not in real life because I would never call Lilly a babe… maybe- no definetly, Miley but not Lilly). They started jumping on me and all of the sudden I had a dream that I was that old king guy from Cinderella.

You know, the part when he was dreaming about his grandchildren and they were jumping up and down on his stomach? Yeah.

Anyway, Miley and Lilly are staring me down and it's kind of scary. Haha, staring… scary… they rhyme!

Dear Oliver's Diary-

He was having a dream about me? I was on his _trolley_? What's _THAT_ supposed to mean, Diary? Miley's on Ollie's trolley… seriously, I need help. Whatevs. Talk to you later!!!

Hugs and kisses (with extra kisses and hugs), Miley

**SATURDAY, January 28****th**

**Miley's room, Miley's floor, 1:30 PM**

Oh _my_ god. I cannot believe Miley saw what I said about the dream. At least she didn't realize what it meant. You should have seen how red I was when I saw what she had written.

Why does Miley only have girly pens?

Right now I'm writing with this red Ariel pen from the Little Mermaid.

How un-macho is that? Totally un-manly.

I'm hanging out with Miley right now. Yippee!!.. I mean, cool.

Lilly has plans with Nate so she said she'd be over to Miley's house around 7-ish.

Miley's answering Hannah mail and she has been for the past hour.

Needless to say, I'm dying of boredom.

I really feel like playing Guitar Hero 3… I'm _THE_ master!

Miley just said she found an interesting Hannah mail… she is reading it to me now.

It's the one from me!!! OH MY _FREAKING_ GOODNESS! I pray on the Holy Bible that she won't figure out that I'm the mysterious person.

"_Awwww_…" She is saying, "that's so sweet, isn't it?"

She read the entire thing out loud and it made me start to sweat.

"Yeah… very… sweet."

_"Dear alias,_

_I can only do so much for girl advice. But the best advice I can give you is to tell this girl. It's obvious you've probably liked her a very long time but you've never noticed it. I'm sure she'll be flattered at the very least. I kind of know what you're going through, believe it or not. I'm in love with one of my best friends but I'm trying to make him jealous by going out with someone else. I know I probably shouldn't be telling you this but you remind me of someone I know. I can't exactly put my finger on it though. Don't move on until you know for sure that it is the right thing to do. _

_I hope this advice works,_

_With love from Hannah Montana._

Oh my god! Does Miley… no.

I _HAVE_ to talk to her.

**Saturday, January 28****th**

**Miley's House, Miley's room, Miley's bed, 3:30 PM**

Journal-

Yep, I'm still at Miley's.

We went shopping forever and I held her bags like a proper best guy friend who's in love.

It was very… _humiliating _and also _AMAZING_.

You may be wondering why, but by the time I'm finished explaining, you'll be blushing bright red from the roots to your tips or whatever that expression is.

I was wandering through Macy's struggling with about fifteen large shopping bags, trying to find Miley.

Finally, I ran out of esteem (and gasoline… but EW, not like that!) and asked a saleslady.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" I asked politely. She turned around from where she had been folding red Tommy polo shirts and said, "Yes honey, what can I do for you?"

"Well, this may seem like a random question, but I'm looking for a friend of mine. She's about… this tall," I say, putting my hand up a little below my jaw line, "She's about this thin," With my hands, I measured how skinny I thought she was, "She has dark brown, long wavy hair… and silvery blue eyes that kind of sparkle when they hit the light just right… she's wearing a blue tee shirt dress with a pocket in the front and some jimmy… I mean skinny jeans?"

The woman grinned. "Yes, I know _EXACTLY_ the girl you are talking about." "Really?" "Yes. She's in the dressing rooms," She adjusted her glasses and raising her eyebrows she asked, "I see you're being a loving boyfriend by carrying her bags, she's very lucky to have a special young man like you." She boasted.

I blushed. I blushed hard, too. "Ummm… I-I. I-I'm not her b-boyfriend." I stuttered foolishly. "Oh," The lady smiled, "I see. Well, good luck, young man." "With what?" I asked. "Getting her." "Er, well… thanks." I said. And then I headed off towards the dressing rooms.

I walked into the women's dressing rooms and came upon a very disgruntled lady sitting at the desk. "Are you a woman?" She asked rudely. "Ummm… no, I'm just here to find my friend." "Oh. Girlfriend?" She asked, nodding knowingly.

Why was everyone thinking that? Can't a guy friend carry his girlfriends bags? And by girlfriend I mean girl as a friend not girl as a girl who I make out with all the time. Although that would be pretty awesome…

"No, just my friend." I said. "Oh," she said, propping her hands up under her chin, "I had a boyfriend like you." "You had?" I asked. "Yeah. He died in a car wreck one week ago." She said, her eyes welling up with tears. "Oh my god… I'm so sorry." I said.

Now I understood why she was being so rude at first.

"We engaged," She said, "I still have this." She pulled out a small chain and it had a ring on it. "This is my engagement ring he gave me a month ago. We were planning for a wedding next fall."

I felt super bad for this girl. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to lose a loved one like that…

I pulled a particularly heavy Gap bag onto my shoulder more comfortably. The woman seemed to snap out of it because she quickly said, "I'm sorry. I'm just here rambling about stuff you don't care about while you're standing there with several heavy bags."

"No, no! I do care! I'm really sorry about your loss." Her eyes became glossy again and she said, "Thanks for caring. Nobody's really had much sympathy for me. My mom basically just told me to suck it up, and it's life." "Well, just take your time. I know what it's like to lose someone you know you'll never have again… well, in my case I've actually never had this person… but I can't imagine life without her."

The lady smiled and said, "Good luck with her." Being used to this by know, I said, "Thanks."

I walked into the dressing room, hauling all the many bags and saw the curtains.

"Miley?" I asked. Nothing. I walked around, trying to see beneath the curtains but they dragged on the carpeted floor. "_Miley_?" I said again.

Suddenly, an unhappy, scruffy looking man hurried past, causing a large draft of wind (and Journal, not _THAT_ kind of wind), causing one of the curtains to open in the middle (for some strange reasons, they had two smaller curtains that opened from the middle).

I peeked in to make sure no one was in there. What I saw next, made my jaw drop and… made me need to take another cold shower.

It was Miley. Dancing around on a stool in a hot pink strapless bra and a pair of (very tiny) hot pink shorts that said 'Love Pink" in rhinestones on the butt. Which did what it was supposed to… it drew my eyes to her… bumoli. I would have done that anyway… but yeah.

"Miley?" I said in shock. She screamed. A blood curdling scream that sent the lady I talked to at the desk over to us in a flash. I dropped her bags.

Desk's (the nickname I've given the lady) eyes went the size of Miley's bra cups (that was probably a very perverted comparison), her jaw dropped, and then she started cracking up.

Miley quickly jumped off the stool and quickly tugged the curtains shut, leaving me and the bags shut in there with the half naked Miley. I needed a bucket of water, and desperately. I needed SOMETHING to get the monster away that had decided to nest in my pants.

"Oliver, what are you DOOOING in here?" She demanded me. I picked up a shopping bag and held it in front of myself so she wouldn't notice my newfound friend.

"I was coming to find YOU!" She quickly shimmied into her clothes and then pulled her hair out from beneath her dress thing.

My special friend still hadn't left my pants. "Oliver, give me that bag, I need to get something out of it. To my major embarrassment, she grabbed the bag from me.

She rummaged around a bit in her bag and then looked up. "Ummm Oliver?" She asked, looking down a bit low. "Yeah?" I said, shuffling around a bit. "Why are you…?" "Miley, look. I know you don't feel the same way but…"

She looked at me and then… "Oliver are you..."

By that point, I'm guessing Desk had walked off.

"Am I what?" I asked. "Oliver you're pants... Oliver why are you..." She was silenced by me doing something I had wanted to do for a very long time... I grabbed her by the waist and...

Oh crap. Miley's out of the shower. Gotta go. I'll finish up later.

**Sorry for the cliffhanger! I really wasn't planning on it! What's gonna happen next? ****Anxious?**** Excited? Biting your nails in… what's the word… well… suspense? ****All of the above?**** I don't ****know,**** lol. I DO know what's gonna happen next though. ****Anddd**** it's the first good Moliver part!!! First major hints of Lackson next chapter! I hope you all liked it! Please review! (Sorry if this chapter isn't very good, but I'm ****uber**** tired, ****it's**** 1:48 AM and I went skiing all day today!!!) **


	8. I'm Smoothie Monster, you're Lemon Head

**Dear all-**

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I send my apologizes to ****smokinoken951892**** and ****xXxcappie-caseyxXx****. I don't think I had thank-yous for last chapter. I really appreciated them!!!**** Thanks for everyone who ****favorited****, and put on story alert! That made me happy dance! ****Miley and Oliver are going to have their first argument in this chappy. It's kind of depressing for me to write. But don't worry- they make up!!**** Sorry for the wait, I've just been having writers block. Thanks ****mmvok**** and drummer8907 for commenting and reading my story.**

**Anyway, here is chapter 8!!!!!! Enjoy!**

**Saturday, January 28****th**

**Miley's living room floor, 7:55 PM**

Sorry that took so long, Journal.

Miley and I had to do a small project for Advanced English. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Oh that reminds me.

My Aunt Bobbie and her two daughters, Julia and Taylor are staying at our house to visit. Fun, eh?

Anyway. I'm sure you want to know the rest of the story from yesterday.

I grabbed her by the waist and then… hoisted her onto my shoulder.

Of course, I wasn't planning to do that. What I really wanted to do was grab her and start making out but that would make things… I don't know… awkward?!

"OLIVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOOOING?" She screeched as I leaned down to pick up the bags

**(A/N: Alas, no.**** They did NOT kiss. Did I not say that they are going to kiss in chapter 15?**** I'm sorry for my extreme meanness. Please forgive me for what I have done ****wrong )**

"I'm picking you up!" I said happily as I exited the dressing rooms.

I glanced at Desk, who grinned and gave me the thumbs up. I winked at her.

I walked all through Macy's with Miley over my shoulder like that.

I don't remember that I'm strong enough that I could lift Miley up with one arm over my shoulder, and all the shopping bags in the other (Miley clutched her purse and a few bags herself, but still).

People cast us a few humorous glances as Miley pummeled me with her fists and kicked her legs, not even fazing me.

Finally, we made it outside of the store. "Oliver! Don't you EVER do that again!" She said, jokingly shaking an accusing finger at me. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" I said, throwing my hands up in defeat. "Yay! I won! Again!" She said happily.

I hate smoothies, Journal. I really do. I hate them. Especially strawberry banana. AT least NOW.

"Ollie, come on, let's get smoothies!" Miley said to me as we walked out of H&M. "Fine, but then can we go? I swear, if I have to carry one more shopping bag, my arms will fall off and start slapping me with anger." She giggled and dragged me by the arm.

We walked into Panera so she could get her fat free smoothie. "Oooh, brownies!" I say, while walking over to where they had all the sweets on display. "I'll pay, Miley." I said to her. "Awwwh, that's sweet! The dorks are in love. Oooh, sss!"

At the same time, Miley and I spun around and were face to face with Amber and Ashley.

"We are not!" Miley and I said in unison. "You are too!" Amber and Ashley said together. "Impossible!" Miley and I said in complete chord, again. "So possible! You're just in denial! Oooh, sss!" Amber and Ashley said. "Come on." I said to Miley, taking her to the quickly shortening line.

I was looking at the desserts list as Miley ordered what ever she was going to get. "Oliver!" "Huh?" "Welcome back," She said slapping my arm. "Ow!" "The lady asked you what you wanted!" "Oh… I'll take the caramel brownie…" "Okay. Is that for here or to go?" "To go." Miley answered for me. "Okay. It's…" Before she could tell us the price, I slapped a ten dollar bill into her hand. "Keep the change." I said to her.

I didn't mean to be rude, Journal, I really didn't. I just wanted to be away from Amber and Ashley.

"Oliver! Why did you snap at that lady?!" "I didn't snap! I'm sorry that you think that!" I said. "Well sorry doesn't cut it!" Miley said. "You need to stop freaking out!" I said angrily. Why does Miley always do these things to me? "I'm not freaking out! You wanna see freaking out, boy?" "Sure! At this point, I don't really care!" "Okay, do you wanna try my smoothie?" Confused by her sudden change of mood I say, "Well I don't know… I gue-" "Okay, great." She smiled somewhat evilly and before I knew it, I was dressed not only in blue and black, but also pink. "MILEY! What was that for?... mhhm, strawberry banana?" "That's what you get when you fool with the 'Miley Cat'. And yes, strawberry banana." "It's good… wait, Miley- I'm sorry…" I begin. "Give me those." She said and rudely grabbed her bags from my grasp.

"Miley wait!" I tossed my brownie to some kid who was asking for it and ran after her. I chased her half way to the mall, until she got tired I guess.

"Miley, look. I'm sorry I said all those things. Miley I love…" "You love what?" She snapped, "Me?"

Before I got to answer, I felt myself be pushed… I was falling, falling, falling… SPLASH.

She pushed me into the large fountain that had topless mermaids riding dolphins (and I don't mean like riding as in like you know what riding). I sat there, shivering in the freezing fountain water.

Some little kid and their mom was walking past. "Mommy- look! There's a new statue in the fountain!" The little boy said, pointing to me. "Honey, that isn't a statue. That's a boy." "Ohhh. Can I give him my quarters so my wishes will come true?" "No." I heard his mom say as they walked off.

A man, who I'm guessing was the father, stopped, looked at me and said, "Sorry kid, but I think that you two are done for." "We were never anything more to being with!" I shouted from the water. He looked at me and walked away. 'I guess I should go find Miley so I can drive her home.' I thought.

I walked through the mall and finally found her sitting on a bench. She had tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes were sad.

"Hey Miley." I said quietly and sat down next to her. She looked at me with those big silvery blue eyes and she gave me a watery smile. "I'm sorry Oliver for being such a bitch back there." "Shhh," I said, putting my finger to her lips, "Don't say that here! That little kid just looked at you!"

Then, a man who must have been the father and husband of the little boy and woman rushed past. HE turned around for a moment, looked at me sadly and said, "I think you ruined it." "Ruined what? We're just friends!" I called out. "Ohhh, I thought she was your girlfriend."

I'm flattered that everyone thinks Miley is my girlfriend but come ON.

I shuddered from the cold water and decided that mockery and stares was not the right way to go.

I stood up, slid on a few slimy pennies and fell on my butt.

Spluttering and blinking water out of me, I climbed out of the side more carefully.

I walked through the mall until I found Miley sitting on a bench, crying.

"Miley," I said softly, "What's wrong?" "I'm sorry I was being such a- a bitch." She said.

I was shocked. Miley was the type of girl who never cussed unless it was completely necessary.

"Miley, don't say that about yourself." "I'm sorry but I was really mea- Oliver, why are you wet?" "You kinda pushed me into the fountain, remember?" "Oh yeah. Sorry." She said. "It's okay." "I guess we should go now." She said, "You can't shop like that."

I grinned. I knew everything would be okay.

Anyway. So now I'm here waiting on Miley and Lilly to come down for our movie night. I think Nate is coming. I don't know about Jake though.

"Come on, Lilly!" I just heard Miley call, "You're butt doesn't look big!!! Okay, yes it does! No, not in a bad way! Yes you look hot, now come on!"

I laughed to myself. Lesbos. No, just kidding.

Jackson walked in, his hair wet and messed up and he had a lemon and a straw on his head.

"Whoa man, what happened to you?" I asked him. "Bad date." "Care to clarify?" I asked. "No." Jackson said, walking down the hallway to his room.

At that precise moment, Lilly was galloping down the stairs like a… horse? She saw Jackson and her eyes grew huge and she tripped down the remaining two steps.

Jackson heard the thuds and rushed over to see what it was.

"Oh. It's you." He said rudely. "Nah, it's an angel!" Lilly said, smiling and putting a halo over her head. "No, she's the devil." Miley said walking down the stairs, putting her pointer fingers up to the sides of her head, making her look like the devil.

She's breathtaking.

Even though she's wearing that lime green tee shirt with the silver horse stenciled on the front and a pair of silver and green boxer shorts, clutching Bearie, she's still as stunning as ever.

Every time I see her, she seems to get more and more gorgeous.

"Would ya get up, Lilly you ol' bum?" Miley said, her southern accent flaring. "Fine." Lilly pouted, "I wish someone was here to help me uppp." She whined. "I'll help you I guess since I'm such a NICE person." Jackson said.

It looked like Miley's eyes were about to pop out of her head. "You're helping HER up? You laughed at ME when I fell down the stairs and broke my arm last year!" "You were eight, Miley." Jackson corrected. "Whatever. Why are you being so nice?" Miley demanded. Jackson rolled his eyes and said, "What is my sissy jealous or something?" "No! I'm just… ugh!" Miley is saying.

I'm laughing and Lilly is watching the two arguing.

"I'm gonna shower unless you have anything else to consult me about?" "Okay. And yes. Why have you been made into a glass of lemonade?" Jackson scowled and walked out of the room.

"That was awkward." I say as Lilly walks to the kitchen to pop some popcorn. "Yeah. I think Lilly likes Jackson." "Me too. Did you see her face when she saw him when she was walking down the steps?" "No, I was still in my room." "Oh. It was like this." I say, distorting my face a bit. Miley giggled and slapped my arm.

Later edit: When she slapped my arm, I felt like a bolt of eletricty shoot through my arm. I jumped. Miley's eyebrows furrowed.

"What are yall talking about?" Jackson just walked into the room. "N-nothing!" I say. "About your lemon!" "WHAT?!" Jackson asked. "The lemon on your head, ya opossum!" Miley said. "Oh." Jackson said. "Did I hear my name?" Lilly wanted to know, holding at tray with sodas and popcorn and candy. "EEP!" She said when she saw Jackson.

Miley smiled evilly. I smirk. Jackson… BLUSHES?

**I'm sorry for the short chappy, but as I ****said,**** I am having writer's block. If anyone has any ideas for the story, please tell me and I may use them. Please, please, please review! You guys are getting so much better at it! ****Lol.**** Love ya'll! XOXO, ****maddiej93 ****PS: I updated quick so that's another reason why it was so short!**


	9. Popcorn Wars, and Making Out

**Hey guys. I am SO sorry for the lack of updating- I've been a very busy bee lately. I honestly hate, hate, hate this chapter. I honestly don't think it could be any worse. It's just all stupid randomness that just popped into my head.**** Oh yeah. Of course, again, HUGEE thanks to the reviewers! I'm trying to come up with some new, funnier ideas and there will be three new main characters! A woman in her forties, named Bobbie, and a set of twin girls, Julia and Taylor (they are actually based off of my real life Aunt Bobbie and my twin cousins, Julia and Taylor!).**** Anyway, I hope **_**you**_** guys enjoy chapter 9!**

**Thanks to people-**

**IhEaRtMiTcHeL411- I'm uber sorry I didn't update soon :S**

**freedomhoney2007- thanks for the advice! That idea just MAY be put into this chapter!! And maybe a little something else… **

**mmvonk- thanks for the kind words D they make me so happy! Like seriously!**

**xXxcappie-caseyxXx- lol thanks )**

**drummer8907- really, seriously, deeply, thank you. There is a bit more Lackson hints in this chapter. Thank you again **

**Jesus.Lives- Yup, much more Lackson in the future, so make sure you watch out for it!**

**MarauderNicki- Lol, yeah. Lesbos :P. Gotta love 'em… lol. Sorry I didn't update in forever!**

**vivi330680- lol yeah. Oliver has issues, like some else I know very well… lol hint starts with an M ends with an E and contains the letters A,D,E,L,I and N in between.**** Or, nicknamed Maddie.**** Lol. **

**smokinoken951892- writers block is when a writer's mind is blocked from being able to come up with good ideas for their story. Lol! **

**And finally…**

**Broken Oken- thank you very much for the compliments. I love your story ****so very ****uber-duber much and I guess I haven't read it for a while, so I did not notice that I used some of your ideas for your story. I actually almost took my own story down because I felt so bad about it.**** Personal message me if you have any complaints…**** Anyway, thanks for the compliments, again! **

**Sunday, January 29****th**

**Miley's comfy, comfy bed****, time unknown**

Okay, so last night was pretty uneventful. Not.

There was plenty of popcorn wars, making out, jealousy, and most importantly, flirting.

DOUBLE SCORES FOR OKEN! HE FLIRTED MORE THAN TWICE WITH STEWART! YEAH-_YUH_!

Anyway, I'll tell you the incredibly long story of what happened last night.

As Jackson's face turned an amazing shade of cranberry red, I heard a loud popping sound.

I, along with everyone else in the planet of Miley's house, looked around, trying to figure out the source of the noise.

I looked around, and I think I was the last to see Lilly on the floor sitting on a bag of busted bag of popcorn.

I started to howl with laughter… like a… werewolf… and then I felt myself be pushed to the ground. Miley was walking over to help Lilly up, and didn't notice my feet were sprawled out like a dead spider's legs. Of course I don't have six legs… no, twelve… eight, sorry, my bad, eight legs. I only have two, one on the right, one on the left, one in the middle… oh wait. Okay, ewwwwww. That could sound SO, SO wrong if you're a major pervert like me.

I wonder what ever happened to the no-perverted-ness in this journal. Oh well, whatever, I suppose you will live, Lilly. And the little kid who may be reading this in the future.

Anyway, Miley tripped, like any klutz would (sorry Miley) and fell on top… of the one and only… OLIVER OSCAR OKEN!

It hurt though :(.

I had just rolled onto my back and had propped myself up onto my elbows. Miley fell and pushed me back on the ground.

She was straddling my hips, and being the incredibly perverted teen that I am, I couldn't help to wonder what it would have been like in the nude.

We sat there for several seconds, just staring into each other's eyes. I felt myself start to… erm… poke up and I think Miley noticed too, for she quickly stood up and smoothed her pants down, her face flushing a light shade of tickle-me-pink.

I stood up quickly as well looking around trying to find something to cover up my… erm… happy bunny.

Get it? The you-know-what is the rabbit hole… and the other you-know-what is the happy bunny… the happy bunny goes up the rabbit hole… or down… OH MY GOD. I need whiteout, or something, NOW!!!

Happy, happy, joy, joy. My mom just called, telling me that Aunt Bobbie, Julia and Taylor are at my house. I told her I'd be there later. She said now. I said later. She said now. I said later. She said now. I said later. She said now or else I'll be grounded. I said later. She said young man. I said later, and hung up.

Miley asked what happened. I told her nothing. She asked who was it. I said my dead grandma's dog. She said liar. I said I'm not lying. She said yes you are. I said I am lying. She said what. I said never mind. She asked who it was. I said my dead grandma's dog. She said no really. I said yes really. She said your being obnoxious. I said no I'm not, you are. She said your mom. I said your dad. She said your mom AND dad. I said Twizzlers, for I found a packet lying on her bedside table. She said who called. I said my momma. She said why. I said she was being annoying. Miley got mad. I quickly told her that my mom was being annoying, not her. Miley stalked back into her closet, trying to find what to wear.

Anyway, I'll get back to the story.

I plopped down on the couch, grabbed a pillow and sat it on my lap.

No one thought much of this because I always have a pillow on my lap. Except Nate. He shot me an amused glance and I stared at him with an eyebrow cocked.

Ahaha, cocked. Okay, seriously, WOW.

"What?" I found myself asking Nate as he smiled sheepishly, as if he were embarrassed for me. Actually, he probably was. I'm sure he knows what that's like… anyway.

"Oh Jakey…" Miley said, walking over to Jake and putting her arms around his neck. "Yes, Miley?" He asked, making Miley's name sound like 'My-lee'. "I love you so, so much!" "I know, I love you too, my little deer heart."

When he said deer heart, I couldn't help but think what??

Later edit: I found out that he meant DEAR heart, not DEER heart. Stupid Oliver. Slaps self

And then they kissed.

I looked over at Lilly and Nate (somewhere in there Jackson must've left the room), who were watching with humored expressions.

Crap. Phone, I'll write back later.

**Sunday, January 29****th**

**My house, my kitchen, 5:30 PM**

La da da.

I'm so very UN-bored.

My mom and Aunt Bobbie went to the mall, leaving me with the two little she-devils.

Okay, so yes, they ARE cute, innocent little third graders, but what they do is VERY evil.

They went into my room and raided my underwear drawer, pulling out one of my most treasured possessions: my Play Boy magazine. Just kidding, Journal.

They pulled out an unopened, unused box of condoms.

Just kidding, again, Journal.

No, they pulled YOU out of my underwear drawer.

They are third graders, so they can read pretty well, but not well enough to read my "un-eligible" handwriting.

They were able to pick out several words though. They were actually able to read a sentence from my second or third entry that read "Or three… serious, seriously, seriousness… I think that's all. But who knows. I'm not a serious expert! HAHAHA! Wow, lame joke." Okay, so maybe three. But that isn't that many, Journal!

Stop laughing at me!

Oh wait. That's my cousins… what did they do this time… I'll have to finish my story about last night later after I'm done with these little munchkins.

**Sorry about the INCREDIBLY short chapter! I just really wanted to update for you guys. I'm really sorry I haven't updated! Please review, and please don't be mad at me! Love you guys! Peace**


	10. Your Skinny! God Save the Oliver

**Hey, girl, hey! ****Lol.**** Or guy, if that's what you happen to be. So, hey, guy, hey, hey, girl, hey. Yeah. ****Right.**** Okay, anyway. I hope you all liked the incredibly awful 9****th**** chapter. As we speak, I am brushing my bed-head and pushing my very fat cat, Lilly off of my lap. It's quite aggravating when it's 6:40 in the morning and you're trying to hurry up with an Authors Note and you are rudely interrupted numerous times. ****ANYWAY.**** This is chapter 10**** (five more chapters until the kiss!)****, obviously for those of you who can count, and I hope you all enjoy it!**** Thank you for the reviews- Imma happy teenage girl! ****:P**

**Sunday, January 29****th**

**My bathroom, my shower-bath, 9:30 PM**

Those twins sure are a workout.

They had me chasing their little mechanical dog thing around the house for a half hour, trying to turn it off so they could 'hit the bay.'

Then, they hugged me repeatedly, yelling out, "Your skinny!" To which I would just say, "Do you _reaaaaly_ like hugging me or do you think if you keep saying I'm skinny that I will automatically get you a new Webkinz?" They just giggled.

Curse those, cute, _cute_ faces and adorable, giggly laughs. I told them I'd buy them each a new Webkinz. I haven't even been to a toy store since _I_ was their age!

Because that's when I started noticing that girl's were awesome… not gross and infested with cooties.

But anyway. I should probably get back to the story then, shouldn't I, Journal?

Okay.

We were at deer heart or whatever. Later edit- Oh _MY_ god. I KNEW it was dear heart, but... I forgot!

As they continued to kiss, I continued noticing that there wasn't the usual… I don't know… something in it.

I looked over at Lilly and Nate again, and they had decided it best to have a making out war. 'Oh golly. I guess I'm the judge of this one…' I recall thinking as their "innocent" kissing turned into a heated, full-fledged make out session.

That's Lilly and Nate anyway. Miley and Jake were kissing even less than before, if possible.

Finally, the two couples broke apart (at the same time… kinda weird), and Jake hugged Miley.

The words "I hope this works," and "It better," were audible.

"What do you hope will work?" I asked, trying to get the hint of jealousy out of my voice, with no such luck.

"_Nothing_!" Miley and Jake said in unison, while Lilly and Nate snickered. I raised an eyebrow and looked at my friend and her… boyfriend.

"You're lying." I said.

The more I think about this, the more I realize that this seemed like a ton of bad acting.

"No we're not!" Miley said, her face turning pale. Jake put his arm around her and pulled her closer. "Do you want me to prove it to you?" He asked. I saw Miley shoot a glance at him.

"Yes." I responded. "Okay…" He said. He grabbed Miley and started kissing her like how Lilly and Nate had been kissing before… and then…

"RIIING! RIIINNNNG!" The telephone sang as Miley and Jake kissed. "RIIING! RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!" It said.

Jake _FINALLY_ pulled apart from Miley and asked her, "Are you going to answer that?" "_RIIIING_!" The phone rang again. "Yeah." Miley said, racing to the phone.

I ruffled my hair, trying to figure out what all of this meant. Then, I thought, 'Saved by the ring…'

"Hello?" Miley asked into the phone. "Ohhh, hi daddy. Oh, um, just hanging out. Where are you?"

I had forgotten that Miley's dad was at a Hannah meeting.

"Oh, on your way home? Okay. Yeah, I'm just having movie night with Lilly, Oliver, Jake, and Nate. No, there's no kissing going on," She said, her country accent twanging as she turned a light shade of pink, "No, daddy, I promise. Okay. You're gonna go to bed as soon as you get home? Wow. You must be. Yeah. You too. Byeee, daddy. I WILL, daddy! I KNOW, daddy!" She said, hung up the phone, and threw it at the couch, not realizing where it would end up hitting. Or who.

"OUCH!" I said, and abruptly jumped into the air and fell of the couch. I looked up with an annoyed look on my face and Miley and Lilly started to giggle.

Jake and Nate had gone over to the floor where Lilly had spilled the food. They gathered everything and cleaned up. How nice…

Miley and Lilly came over and helped me up.

As I grabbed Miley's left hand, I felt something like an electric spark. This caused me to yelp out and fall on the floor again.

Lilly laughed and said, "What happened? Did Ollie have a big ol' prolly?" I think by that she meant problem. "Yeah, it looked like you were electrocuted!" Miley agreed as they helped me up again.

I had to try to ignore my second electrocution as I took Miley's hand. "Sorry Ollie," She said, "I love you."

Lilly shot her a wide-eyed glance and Jake's head shot up faster than you can say 'Whoa." That's true, actually, because Nate had said whoa while Jake's head shot up.

"What?" I asked. She turned light pink, then hot pink, then bright red, then flaming red. I watched her in awe. It was like watching a fireworks display.

"Nothing! I-I just said that I love you!" "Oh…?" I said questioningly. "Like a brother… duh." She said weakly, with an eye roll.

Nate and Jake (haha, did you ever realize that their names rhyme, Journal?) got back to their cleaning while Lilly looked like she was restraining laughter.

Oh snicker doodles. Mom and Aunt Bobbie got home and they want to know how the twins were. I'll write more later.\

**My bedroom, my bed, later on**

La da da. Life is such a wonderful road trip.

I was recently asked by Aunt Bobbie who is a nurse these following questions:

"Are you in love?" to which I answered "Yes."

"Are you a virgin?" "Unfortunately."

"Have you ever had a heated make out session?" "Sure.."

"Have you experienced numerous wet dreams about your crush?" "Erm… what does it mean to you?" "Just answer the question." "Um… yes?"

"Who are you in love with?" "None of your business."

That was all I could take. "I'm just trying to help." "Then can I give you some advice?"

"Sure." "Stop annoying me."

I think that hurt her feelings for she quickly excused herself to bed. Julia and Taylor who had gotten out of their beds for the answering were asking their mother what wet dreams were. I answered for them: you don't want to know.

They stomped off to the second guest bedroom where they were staying.

And now I'm lying in my bed, in nothing but my Hollister shorts. They keep riding up. They are not pleasing me. WHOA, Journal, that sounded WRONG!!! I am sorry for the… crudeness?

Anyway.

We watched freaking Jake Ryan acting like a stupid actor for a freaking hour and a half while Lilly and Nate made out and Miley was knocked out on my shoulder.

Yes, she fell asleep on MY shoulder, not yours, Jake freaking Ryan! Take that Fake Lion!

Hmmh… I like that! Fake Lion… it has a nice ring to it. Jake Ryan… Fake Lion… Fake Lion… Jake Ryan…

Oliver Oken… Miley Stuart… Oliver Oken… Miley Stuart… it just makes SENSE!! You know, Journal?

Crap. It's already… 12:30! I have a hugeeee History test tomorrow! YIKES!

Austa la vista, baby!

Sweet dreams to you, Journal.

I'll have wet ones.

Wow.

**Hope you all enjoyed another _short_, _pointless_, _stupid_ chapter. I just feel uber bad to keep you all hanging like that. But I want to know what you think about my story. You know**** if I should continue writing it or end it. ****Pleaseeee**** tell me what you think! Reviews are MUCH appreciated, but I'm sure you already know that! ****Lol.**** Oh and if you have any ideas I'd be glad to hear them! Love you all very much! Love your (hopefully) loved author thing, maddiej93. Austa la vista, babies! PS: I won't update until I get five reviews! Or more! I ****reallllly**** want to know what you all think! Thanks!**


	11. Sir Chokeyass

**Hey!! I am BACK with chapter ELEVEN! WHOO HOO!! Lol. Ohmygod, I have been working on homework all evening… I had to write out an entire social studies lesson because my class got in trouble… lol I also had three worksheets in social studies, one worksheet in science, section 3 review in science #1-5, and study for the HUGEEE religion test tomorrow! My hand really hurts! Lol. Anyway, I'm sure you all didn't wanna know all that but whatevs. I hope you all enjoy chapter 11!**

**My thankies:**

**MarauderNicki: Lol. I'm glad that you thought that the 'oh snicker doodles' thing was funny. I liked it because it was random, lol. And one of my friends, Aaron, says it. Along with 'oh my lanta!' or something. Anyway. Lol. Thanks for the review!**

**mmvok: I added ASAP!!! Thanks so much! I am SO happy! Lol!**

**vivi330680: lol. Thanks for the review!! **

**freedomhoney2007: No, Jake doesn't suck as kissing :P. You'll find out what was going on very soon. In the next couple of chapters!!! Yay**

**xXxcappie-caseyxXx: Thank yah soooo, SOOOO much! I'm glad you like it:D And me :DD Lol.**

**smokinoken951892: thanksyah! Lol, I'm so glad that you like it! **

**drummer8907: Thank you! It's okay, I completely understand the school thing, lol. I uber busy too but somehow I manage to update every once in awhile. Lol, there will still be 30 chapters in this fanfic, but I am in the process of writing a Lackson oneshot songfic. It'll be up in the next couple of days. It's really cute so far!! Oh and I'm also working on a Moliver oneshot songfic too. Keep your eyes out for them... both of them! I mean, the stories, not your eyes... wait. I don't know what I'm saying! Like that's news... ANYWAY I'm just like Oliver, sitting here rambling... I'll shut up now.**

**Love you all so **_**very**_** much!****- in the friendliest way possible because I don't personally know any of you, I don't think, lol. **

**Now**** onto the story. **

**Monday, January 30****th**

**8:04, Lockers**

Wow. Wow. Wow. _And_ Wow.

That was what Miley, Lilly, Nate and I just said. One after another, after another, after another, after another. One… two… three… four… yeah that's enough after another's.

You wanna know what happened, Journal? Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, since you didn't answer me, I won't tell you.

AHAHAHAHA. I am an evil, tedious devil.

I just sprouted horns and a devil tail! I am h-ho-horny!

Why is Ashleen looking at me so... provocative? Or however that is spelled? I love spelling! I suck at it! Ohhhhhh yeahhhh...

Ehmagawd, Diary, did he _REALLY_ just write that he is h-ho-horny?! I am like, disturbed beyond imagination. With mucha lova, Ashleen.

Wow. I am too embarrassed to write. You know, I think I'm gonna go bang my head against… the nearest object possible. I'll be right back.

**Two minutes later…**

Okay. This day has gone from bad to worse. The nearest object happened to be… dun, dun, dunnnn.

_The dangerous Lilly Cat. _Hey, that sounds like a show that could be on the Discovery Channel, or Animal Planet.

Anybang, I walked up to her and started banging my head as hard as I could on her back.

And yes, Journal, I DID just say anybang. I wouldn't mind giving Miley a few bangs, myself... okay... wow.

She was facing her locker, struggling with her new combination (don't ask why she got a new lock… it beats the devil's horny little horns out of me). As soon as my head flew in contact with her bony shoulders, she yelped, jumped more than two feet in the air, slapped my cheek in the process, and scared a few jumpy, nervous, chess-club geeks, Algebra 4 taking freshmen. Is that even a class??

Anyway.

You wanna know that happened earlier, Journal? I feel the great need to tell someone. Or something.

This is how it went.

"HEY OLIVER!" It was Lilly. She was running through the halls with something(s) that looked like a baby snakes. "TAKE ONE OF THESE!" She then through the snake-y looking thing-ys at me. "AGH!!!" I screamed. "It's just a garden snake!" Lilly screamed, "Chill!"

And chill I did. I actually slid down the lockers with a baby garden snake curled around my head.

How it got up there beats me.

Then, Miley came running up to me. Her hair was straightened and it cascaded down her shoulders and back. Her blue-grey eyes were even more blue-grey and her skin seemed to glow more than normal.

"OLIVER!" She said. "What?" I asked. I knew she was going to tell me that she loved me and then… "I lo-Why do you have a snake wrapped around your head?" I knew it. Stupid wishful thinking, Journal. That's what it was.

Dear Diary- That is TRUE love, Ollie! She loves you! She wants you to be her Knight in Shining Armor! She wants you to be her King of Kings! She wants you to be her Valentine! Can you believe that Miley's never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day? It's amazing! I mean, even IIII have had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day… it didn't last, of course, but it still means something! Anyway, Ollie-Dollie's Diary, I'm sure you're tired of my constant bumbling, rambling, and mumbling. So I'll go now. Love you Ollie and Ollie's Diary! Love you much, XOXOXOXOX with extra XOXOXOX's, Tiger Lilly. PS: Don't you realize that she's using Jakey-poo Ryan to make-y youu jealous?

Yeah. Okay… I wish that were true but I'm pretty sure it isn't. Not even I am naïve enough to believe that Miley is secretly in love with me… and I'm positive that she ISN'T using Jake to make me jealous. But if she were, it sure is working! Oo

**Later, in homeroom**

Oh _my_ god. I just made a complete and utter FOOL out of myself.

Journal, why do I have to be such a god-damn fish stick filled donut? (Ew… that sounds nasty, doesn't it, Journal?)

I told Miley. And Lilly. And Mr. Chokeyass. And basically the entire world. My deepest. Darkest. Secret. Ever.

Miley, Lilly, and I were all rushing to our homeroom, since the little incident with snakes made us behind. **(A/N I know I didn't finish telling about that but it's Oliver. He's a guy. He has short term memory loss. Not really, but you know what I mean.)**

Anyway.

Miley and Lilly and I were all rushing to our homeroom. We walked in three seconds late, and received our tardies. .

Anyway. I do say that a lot, don't I, Journal?

"Miss. Stewart, Miss. Truscott, Miss Oken, how nice of you three to show up." Mr. Chokeyass stated bluntly as he looked down at his 'To-do List'. "But you're usually late and you don't get a tardy. And I'm NOT a Miss. I am a Mr. and I think you very well know that. " I accidently blurted out. "Oken, let me see you after class." Herassischokey said. Man. Who knew the guy could be a total burnout?

"Fine." I said as I slumped into my seat. Today, I was sitting behind Miley and Lilly was behind me.

"Today," Mr. Herassischokey began, "we are starting a new activity!" There were many groans and a few un-enthusiastic 'woo-hoos'. "Now, now, before we get discouraged, let's talk about what we are going to do."

I leaned forward and poked Miley's shoulder. She turned around and I said stupid nonsense.

"OKEN! STEWART!" "Sorry Mr. Herassischokey." Said Miley. "Sorry Sir Chokeyass."

Miley turned around and looked at me with wide eyes and other people snickered quietly in their seats.

"Did I just say that out loud?" "Yes you did, SIR Chokin Oken." "HEY! Only Miley and Lilly can call me that." "Excuse me?" Chokeyass said. "Never mind." "That's what I thought." And now, he's talking never-endlessly about our next project.

And guess what it is, Journal?

WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII! Heck yeah…

And… we have to partner up and we have to take care of these baby doll things.

Fun, eh?

Oh snapping turtle. Oh Fudgesicle. Oh hopping poptarts.

I gotta go.

I'll give the details later.

PS: Chokeyass has a piece of cat hair on his… pokey ass. Wow.

Oken's… done.

**THEY'RE GOING TO HAWAII! WOOHOO! Lol, I just needed some sort of excitement. Lol. I'm sorry for the short chapters lately, I've just been having like these braindead moments and I can't think of anything good to write. It really sucks. I actually wrote that last part a few minutes ago. I'm sick, so it may not be as good as usual. But please review, all the same. It will make me update sooner, and if I get more reviews, my update will be better and longer! Jones is… done. :P **


	12. Lilly Jackson 4ever

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Hello ****everyBODY****! It's maddiej93 and she's b-b-b-back! Oh yeahhh. ****Lol.**** Ok, so guess what? I LOST EVERYTHING that I had written for chapter 12!!! OH, CRABCAKES! ****Lol.**** There shall be know worry because I RE-WROTE the ENTIRE chapter! Lol, do you all love my enthusiastic enthusiasm? I do! Lol! I hope you all lurveeee this chapter like (I hope) you ****lurveeeed**** the last one! Lol! Anyway, read my thank-****yous**** and then read my story! Lol! Oh yeah, Happy Heart Day! **

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**My gracious thanks:**

**drummer8907****Ohmygod****. You used to live in Hawaii?! YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I've never been ****there :( ****Poor me.****Anyway, yeah.**** Oliver is going to have a baby doll and you will see who is LOVELY wife will be! And no, it is NOT either of his two best friends (not Lilly OR Miley)!!! It isn't a crappy sack of flower like they had in the TV show, lol. Even though that WAS VERY creative! I'll look out for your updates! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Iheartdisney128: yes! He DID say that to a teacher! I decided to ****make**** him like most guys. You know, capable of letting things slip. I updated ASAP, but my power went out because of so much ice ****and snow! I've been out of school for four days already! And I'll be out tomorrow, too! WOW! Yay me! **

**mmvok****ehmygawd****, my computer keeps wanting your name to be capitalized! ****It's**** crazy nuggets! Lol, I'm glad you liked ****it **

**xXxcappie-caseyxXx****: Lol! I wanna go to Hawaii, too! I would do ANYTHING to get out of this cold, dreary Missourian weather. It's crazy! Lol! Anyway, thanks for reviewing! **

**smokinoken951892: THANK YOU:D**

**MarauderNicki: It's okay! I totally understand! Lol, the Jonas Brothers? AWESOME!!! I LOVE them! Lol! So are you going to a concert? If so, you are SO lucky! ****Yeah…**** I have… 660. ****Lol.**** I only check fanfiction. ****Anyway.**** THANK YOU!!! I updated as soon as I could!**

**Wowies****! That was a TON of reviews to thank people for- and that's GOOD! Lol! Anyway, enjoy chapter 12!**

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**January 31**

**On Miley's floor, it's late**

These have been the busiest two days, _ever_, Journal.

Remember how I told you that we are going to Hawaii? We are leaving in ONE WEEK!!!

And guess who my baby's daddy is!

Guess.

Keep guessing…

Yeah, keep on guessing, Journal.

You'll never guess…

Fine, I'll tell you.

My baby's daddy issss… dun, dun, dunnnnnnn… _HANNAH MONTANA_!

Just kidding, although, that would be amazing. Because, of course, Journal (DO NOT TELL), Hannah Montana _IS_ the love of my dreams, Miley Stewart.

It's actually Ashleen. SHE IS SO HOT. Lol. Gorgeous babe numba TWO.

Miley's gorgeously sexy babe numba ONE. Oh yahhh…

Anywho.

GUESS WHAT?!

LILLY JACKSON 4EVER!!!!!

Yeah, that's right Journal.

THE FAMOUS Lilly cat and the not-so-famous Jackson bird have fallen in loveeee.

You wanna know what happened?

Okay. So Miley and I were on our way to her house after a Hannah concert. Miley had only invited me because Lilly canceled last minute. We both couldn't understand why, but god am I glad that Miley asked me to go with her. She rocked my socks! Lol, or Hannah did, anyway.

But yeah. Mr. Stewart had to do some "shopping" or schedule for her next concert, so he just told me to stay the night at Miley's house . Mostly because my mom has the night shift at work and he doesn't want me to be home alone. Pshtt. As if. I've been home alone countless times for more than a day. But yeah.

So Miley and I hopped out of the Range Rover and strolled causally inside, laughing and gimmicking about her concert. Gimmicking IS a strange word, isn't it, Journal? Anywho.

Guess who we heard? Jackson and Lilly, in deep conversation.

"Hey, let's hide and spy!" I said to Miley. She smiled at me and said, "Great idea! I wonder what they're talking about…" "Skateboarding." I said matter-of-factly.

Miley and I crouched behind her kitchen cabinets, getting the perfect view of them sitting on the couch. Jackson was holding a remote, yet the TV was turned off. Lilly, of course, had her skateboard across her lap.

"So what do you want to talk about?" She asked. Her voice seemed a little higher pitched than usual and she was speaking even faster. And to think I thought that was impossible, Journal! "Well…" Jackson began, shifting uncomfortably around on the couch.

"I know you're going out with Nate… but this can't wait any longer." Lilly's eyes grew wide as Jackson said this and opened her mouth to protest, but Jackson quickly put a finger to her lips to shush her. "Lilly, I haven't told anybody. But I've loved you since Miley first brought you over to my house. I always have."

I looked over at Miley whose eyes were as wide as the dinner plates that my mom threw at my step-dad the night of the breakup. I chuckled softly.

"Jackson- I," Lilly started. "No." Jackson swiftly moved in and kissed her. Lilly's eyes widened, her back stiffened, but then she relaxed into the kiss and began to respond back.

They finally pulled apart and Lilly said, "I love you too." And then they kissed. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again and again and again and again and AGAIN!!! Finally, me and Miley got very bored of watching them make out so we made our entrance.

"Act surprised." Miley whispered to me. I nodded my head and said, "WHOA. WHAT'S GOING ON IN HEREEE?!" Lilly and Jackson pulled apart quicker than you can say 'they looked like deer caught in headlights.' But let's shorten that to deerlights. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!!! SANTA CLAUSE- that stalker. 'He sees you when you're sleeping… he knows when your awake… he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake! SNAKE!' Yikeo.

Anyway. It was pretty weird watching your best friend since preschool and your other best friends older brother hook up. If you smell what I'm steppin in. Er… I heard someone say that on America's Next Top Model once… I love that show. NOT THAT I WATCH IT CAUSE I DON'T. I PROMISE, JOURNAL! Okay, so I do like it an itsy-bitsy bit. A teeny-weeny bit. Okay, a lot. But still! Those girls are ho-ho-HOT.

Anyway. Oh my god, Journal, I love her soooo soooo much. Miley, not Lilly. If I loved Lilly… shudders that would JUST BE WEIRD. That would be as if ice cream ran through your veins… and ran out your nose instead of snot. Gross. Snot is such a weird word. Snot. Yellow. Snot. Slimy. Snot. Ew.

But yeah. Ho-ho-holy crap. Miley's walking in. Well it IS her room, but still. Wow-za she looks hot-za. HOT MAMMA! She's my baby's mamma… I wish. In my dreams, Oken. Seriously, in my dreamssss.

**I hope you all liked that Lackson filled chapter! Sorry it was so short but I went shopping with Leslie. Ohhhhh yeah. Anyway, please review! Yeah!**


	13. Oliver? Oliver? I love you I love you

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so, so, so very long! I've been uber busy with school and I'm starting a new "novel" called The True Confessions of a Teenage Model and another one that I've been working on called… it doesn't really have a name yet, lol. So yeah, I've been pretty busy, thus, making me not be able to work in this fanfiction as much. I hope you all enjoy this update! PS: It's kinda a filler chapter, just warning you. PPS: It's mostly an IM conversation that Oliver had with his favorite cousin, Ryan. PPPS: Sorry about the bad grammar/spelling. It's two guys on IM. Be real. Do guys normally spell right? Anyway. PLEASE READ! And review! Love you all blows kisses and bows Don't throw plastic cups and shower heads at me. I feel very bad about not updating, believe ME.**

**Thank you very much to the reviewers! **

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**February 2****nd**

**In my room, on my floor since my best friends, Miley Cat and Tiger Lilly are occupying my bed**

Yawn. Today has been, again, a very, very busy day. 

Well, I don't have much to say except that Miley and Lilly are staying over here at my house. Very exciting. 

I almost told Miley my secret. 

But anyway.

I printed out this IM conversation I had with my cousin Ryan. Excuse me for the bad language, Journal.

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O has just signed on.

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says: 

hey man

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

sup 

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

the usual. no matter what i do i cant getter off my mind

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

dude have u taken any of the advice ive given u i mean cmon

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

i try! 

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

none of ur 'amazing girl advice' works for me

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

i love her

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

i know thats why i told you to tell her

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

the only good thatll do is ruin what we already have

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

but what if she feels the same bout u then ull never ever no unless like you find some secret telling potion at some old shit store

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

just tell her it's what id do

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

have you looked at ur name lately?

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

idk rye... i just cant tell her. ive been close so many times it isnt funny. and yeah. brownie monster.

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

and… the.smokinoken

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

yes you are. i can gaurtee that youll be happyer and gladder that you did. 

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

man wen did your gramer and spelling get so bad?

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

when you knocked me in the head with a folding chair…

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

HEY! you know that wasn't my fault! i mean i just sat down and it folded! it wasnt MY fault that you were dumm enough to stand behind me when i sat down!

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

i was kidding dont get so offensive. 

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

damn mom calling. said i have to walk her iguana. who walks iguanas anyway? 

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

not me. kay nice talkin to you have a great night!

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

you sound like hannah montana. dont do hat please. 

the.smokinoken(browniemonster) says:

later 

my-abs-are-hard-as-Jell-O says: 

bye.

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So yeahhh! That was my weirdo-conversation with my weirdo-cousin. He's pretty awesome, isn't he?

Haha. Miley and Lilly just got in a teddy bear fight…. WAIT THAT'S MY TEDDY BEAR!

Urgh. Sorry about that. Just strangled and was strangled by two furious, ferocious jungle kitties. And one of them is my true love… and the other a true nightmare. 

Ohmygod. Miley just said something to me… she said she loved me. And then Lilly freaked out. She said something about leaving sour cream out at her house and her mom's parrot would eat it… she doesn't even have a parrot! Or any type of animal with wings, feathers, or hard core beaks! (And by hard core I mean hard cored.) 

And then Miley and I were just sitting there, she was looking at me as if I were the Nutcracker. Stupid Nutcracker. Haha, Journal, have you ever thought what a funny name that is? Nutcracker… Cracker of the Nuts… The Cracker is Nuts… the Nuts are Crackery… Crackers are the Nuts… My Nuts are Cracky… Crackernuts… I like crackers. I don't mean white people OR the people who are addicted to crack. I like nuts too. But not the ones that guys have along with their… erm, never mind.

Anyway. Back to Miley. So we sat there staring at each other… crap she's back. I'll write back asap.

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30 Minutes Later… same day, same place

OH FREAKKY FREAKKY FREAKKY FRESH! I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!

Miley… loves… ME. I… love… Miley… Miley… kissed… ME!! And it was the most magical thing I've ever tasted. Even more magical than nuts and crackers and crackers on nuts and nuts on crackers and crackers crumpled up with nuts and peanut butter on crackers.

Here's what happened, Journal. I know you'll be so very happy. I can't remember details but it went somewhat like this…

"Oliver?" "Oliver?" "What?" "What?" "I love you." "I love you." "Stop copying me!" "I'm not… wait did you say I loved you and then I said I loved you and then…" But then I was cut off by her kissing me. We pulled apart. "Um… I possibly just possibly said that I did…" "Um… I possibly just possibly said that I did too…" "Oliver?" "Oliver?" "Um… you did it again." "Did what again?" "Repeated your name instead of saying Miley." "Oh. Hey Miley?" "Yes?" "I'm gonna kiss you now…" And then we kissed.

And that kiss became more than a kiss… and by the time Miley was… erm… I don't want to say straddling… well kind of/sorta… Lilly walked in.

"EHMYGAWD! CLOSE MY EYES! TAKE COVER! EWWW!" She said immaturely. "Lilly," Miley said climbing off my lap, "calm yourself." Lilly did a weird breathing exercise and then said, "I'm calmed. So… are you guys together now?" I looked at Miley. Miley looked at me.

"Yep!" I said. "REALLY?!" Miley and Lilly squealed. "Really, really!" "Wait… oh my god, Jake!" Miley said as he walked in the room.

Jake and Miley are pretty much history now! Claps So yeah!

And guess what, Journal?? I'll be in Hawaii… with Miley… for an entire week! Starts singing Aloah Eeh" Or however it's spelled…

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**I hope you all liked it! It kind of sucked but I'm out of practice with this story. If you know what I'm saying. Anyway, reviews would be greatly appreciated! **


	14. Lowrider is a Weird Name for a Dog

**Hi there. You would not BELIEVE this crazy weather I've been having. TWO ice storms cutting off power for a week… followed by fourteen inches of rain a month afterwards… in two days. For you news-watchers out there, ever heard of Cape Girardeau? Before now, probably not. But yeah, we were on NATIONAL TELEVISION! EEEEP! Lol. Hey, at least we aren't Dutch town… they were completely under water!!**

**MERRY BELATED EASTER! HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS! MERRY BELATED (OR HAPPY) BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BELATED GROUNDHOG DAY! HAPPY YAY YAY DAY! YAY!**

**Anyway, enough about weather and random holidays/events. Thanks to the reviewers! **

**xXxcappie-caseyxXx****: ****Thank you so much! Yeshy, yeshy, I have a feeling some people wish they could drive/fly to Missouri, track me down, and throw trashcans at me. And cupcake wrappers… I actually accidently almost ate one this morning. It was very eventful. Anyway, I updated on Easter! Yays!**

**snickers3339: Thanks! I am like, stoked that you like my story. Yours are like, some of the best ones on here! I love them! So yeah, anyone who hasn't read snickers3339's fanfictions, I would highly advise you to. They are like… cottage cheese… minus the cottage and the somewhat horrifying flavor and texture and… color. Yuckish. So yeah. Let's say they are like chocolate… so rich and real and creamy! Yes! But don't get the wrong idea… if you happen to be in a perverted mood like myself. **

**smokinoken95892: yeshy, yeshy, it WAS early, early. But that's good, good, right, right? Thank you, thank you. You all are too kind (kind… kind… kind… kind echoes note the word/name echo/Echo out)**

**MarauderNicki: Dang. I really wanted to look like a walking dumpster… just kidding. Thank you! Lol that's hilarious how could someone think they ate their iguana? Hmmh… that gives me ideas… evilly taps finger tips together thank you for that tidbit of information! And YES Lackson WILL come, along with character death. But it won't be who you may think… and that will be in THIS CHAPTER!! :O**

**Drummer8907: hey, I have a random question. Do you, by any chance, be a drummer? Stupid question… lol… I mean **

**mine, not yours… but yeah, thank you so much ******** it means a lot :D**

**rawraliens101: thanks! Love your name!**

**Moliver4lifex: you were the reason I updated. I totally forgot about this. I've had it written for like three weeks… my bad, dearest friends.**

**Awwh, I miss all you guys! I'm so glad you were all able to review. But have any of you heard from iheartdisney128?? She seemed to have disappeared. And I am quite worried. If I remember correctly, I think I MAY have read on smokinoken95892's page that they were siblings? Your sister or brother (I'm hoping sister, haha, but no offense if she/he IS your brother) isn't dead, is she? Lol :P Ignore my over-dramaticness. Love you guys!**

**PS: Sorry I haven't updated, again. I actually have been busy making videos for YouTube. I have three so far and **

**so far they're not very good (a cast one to Fences by Paramore, a Moliver one to Something More by Aly & AJ, and an Anti-Jiley to Don't Ask Me by OK! Go). Well the first one isn't good at all. But that's only because I had no episode clips, lol. But yeah currently I'm working on a slight Moliver video to the song "With a Little Help From my Friends" by The Beatles. Is it only me or does it sound like the beginning like they say "hairy cheese"? I swear they say that. I swear on God's trousers. Anywho. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't swear on God's trousers. That may be bad if they really don't say hairy cheese. Anywho.**

**So yeah, here's what you have all been waiting for… the plane trip.**

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**February 5****th**

**Time unknown. Plane. Popping ears. Bleah. Snoring Miley and singing Lilly and her screaming baby son. Wish I could die…**

Oh donkey feathers. Journal, why does life have to be so incredibly unfair? Please answer… three, two, one.

No answer.

We're taking two flights to Hawaii. Don't ask, but the first one we're taking a detour to New York and we're staying there for a day (and night). Then, we're taking a direct flight to Huh-why-ee!

Anyway. Back to the unfairness of life.

I have Miley, right? I guess that's pretty fair, don't you think, Journal?

And back to the unfairness. Again.

I am wedged between Miley, who's passed out on my shoulder (like that would bother me) yet she is snoring and that is somewhat embarrassing, and on the other side is a singing Lilly. She is now singing Love Song. She seriously needs a singing tutor. Or is that a singing trainer? Voice lessons director? Whatever. She DOES. She sounds like a cat being stepped on. Yes, it IS THAT bad. It's quite embarrassing.

Of course, Ashleen had a modeling event last minute and wasn't able to make it. So now I'm single parenting with the aid Miley and Lilly (who are paired with two emo looking rockers).

Miley's baby is sleeping soundly against her, while Lilly's prat is screaming his head off. My baby is just gurgling happily.

Seriously Journal, these babies look REAL! Mine has big blue eyes (like most babies have) and actually has hair, unlike all the other little baldies. It's brown, just like mine! But mine isn't painted on. Anyway, this makes me very happy. I decided to name her (since it IS a her, Journal) Rosie. After my grandma… yeah. I think Rosie sounds like a horse name, don't you think, Journal?

Oh wait. I'm thinking of Posie. Never mind.

Anyway. I'm exhausted and I really don't want to have this baby. I mean… it IS cute, but taking care of one makes me a bit… nauseous. Okay Journal, why am I caring so much about a baby? I mean, it fake eats, fake throw-ups, fake pees, fake farts, fake giggles, fake sleeps, fake poops, fake cries, fake screams. What's the point? It's not like I'm going to have a baby any time soon anyway… I hope.

So yeah. Crap. I forgot to feed her and she's starting to scream and move her little robotic arms in frustration. I'll write back when I can.

**February 7****th**

**Hawaii, Hotel, 9:30 PM**

Hawaii! It's amazing, Journal!

It doesn't even seem like it should be in the States though… I thought it would be kind of like Malibu… but boy, was I wrong!

It's more like… a pre-historic landmark with waterfalls and non-active volcanoes… minus the scary dinosaurs. Rawr.

Don't snicker at me! Snickering isn't nice. Yes, I know big fancy kitty cat words, Journal! So stop being such a pie face!

Anyway. Rosie is peacefully sleeping on a pillow on the floor. She is covered up with a pair of boxers, much to Miley and Lilly's dismay, whose children are laid comfortably on the window seat covered with thick, pink and green fluffy blankets. They said that Ashleen would disapprove of this action, covering a baby in boxers. I simply rolled my eyes and said it's better than buying a fake baby a bikini like Miley did.

I said that the baby would explode if you put it in the water, and I'm sure I'm quite right. I would laugh. And hope that Miley's eyebrows would ignite and burn. I DIDN'T SAY THAT marks that out… now.

I'm sharing a room with Miley and Lilly and the two scary looking guys. There are five beds: I'm in one, Miley and Lilly are sharing one, and Rod and Todd (why do their names rhyme, anyway? That's just lame) both have their own too.

For some stupid reason, Sir Chokeyass has decided to pair girls and boys up in the same room to get the "whole feeling of being parents." He doesn't seem to know that our hormones are raging and we sometimes make mistakes…

Journal, I'm starving. I haven't eaten in a whole four hours! I guess I could take one of Miley's granola bars… but then there may be a whole dramatic thing like in America's Next Top Model… don't steal my Red Bull! Not that I would know… psht, I don't watch that show! I swear, Journal! Stop laughing like a high hyena! I watched it with Miley and Lilly! STOP LAUGHING!!

Anyway.

Oh God's nightgown. Fiddle dee-dee. Lilly is snoring louder than me. Please oh great penguin, thee cast from thy… ground, let me be able to sleep tight and sound. Wait. I only said that because it rhymed, Journal. Just for your information.

Anyway… you'll never believe this. I was flipping through Lilly's diary (she is so obvious. on the cover she wrote in big, sparkly, swirly, blue letters "Lilly Pilly's Diary, Don't Read, Silly!" Yeahh. It's green. Yeah. And it has a picture of the Powerpuff Girls inside. I totally lost my 

manly coolness and started giggling like an over-excited schoolgirl.

She said that she is head-over-heels for Jackson. And that she misses him more than she misses her old pug, Low-rider. **(A/N: The Low-rider name was not my idea. In fact, my boyfriend Cameron's sister is getting a pug and he wants her to name her "Low-rider" alas, no, she wants to call her dog Rose Madeline. After me. Isn't that cute??)** I laughed at the name of her dog, but I was frightfully startled when I saw that she was in love with Jackson. Don't ask why I was scared, but I was. I nearly made an "oopsie, mommy".

Crapo-dapo. Miley wants to say something.

_Dear Ollie's Diary: I love Olliekins so much!! He is so weird though. I was flipping through his iPod and I found a very disturbing song. Have you ever heard of The Bad Touch? I thought so… Lilly loved it. And I nearly gagged. "You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it how they do it on the Discovery Channel" That's disturbing. I don't want to have sex with you, Oliver. Despite your dreams. Yes, I know all about your dirty little secrets. Mwha-ha-ha. _**(A/N: I was watching that video when I came up with that idea. Has anyone seen it? It's called "The Hannah Touch" and it's on YouTube, made by taylovesmoutaindew. Look it up! It's one of my favorites! Get horny now! No, don't, on second thought)**

Wow! Scary! She knows about my dreams… Journall…. AGHHH those are PRIVATE! No one should know about a guy's dreams… and she dissed my theme song! Laugh all you want, Journal. Do it. And you'll meet the toilet. Yes, I DID go there.

Well, guess what? It's Freaking Smokin Oken's dinner. So excuse me while I fill up on food. While I wish I was filling something… someone… else up.

Furiously scratches that last bit out

Anyway. Later gator. Oliver Smoliver is out, yo!

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**I hope you all liked it! I had an amazing time writing it! Please review and I'll update quicker than you can say UPDATE!! Heck yes. Maddie Smaddie is OUT, yo!**


	15. My Dearest Ermest Thoughts

**Hey everyone. This chapter has a bit of a… suggestive theme to it (nothing happens, don't worry). So if you get easily offended by the topic of… reproduction, then I wouldn't suggest reading it. But it is all good fun. And I don't mean it like that guys so stop being so perverted. SO yeah. This is the chapter that the explains why the "T" is the rating on this.**

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**Thanks so much to..**

**jonasbroswitchfoot: maybe you should be worried about me. I haven't updated since my great grandma Shirly died. Which is before I was born… so that doesn't totally make sense… I WAS on national TV. Pretty cool. And thankies so mucchy!**

**MarauderNicki: Thanks so much! And erm… I didn't exactly update soon but I DID update as soon as I COULD. Hah.**

**smokinoken951892: yeah, I probably was hyper when I wrote that. But of course, I always am hyper while writing this fanfic P there's just something about Oliver writing in a diary that makes me excited… and not like that.**

**drummer8907: ahaha, thanks :)**** And yeah, I did the whole room thing on purpose. You will find out in later chapters. And 11 years! Congrats!**

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**Okay. Now just read. Oh yeah. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days chapter 5 should be on soon:)**

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**February 7****th**

**Later than the last time I wrote, **

**On floor**

Blooshy blooshy goosh goosh flooshy flooshy doosh doosh. That's what I am, Journal. A blooshy blooshy goosh goosh flooshy flooshy doosh doosh. But we'll just shorten it to doosh. Yes, I am quite the doosh in this here family.

Guess what lame thing I said to Miley over the dinner table?

Okay so Miley and Lilly were having this long, ornate (yes I DO know the word ornate, Journal. I'm not as stupid as you may think) conversation about the production of babies. You know, they are made by mechanics… who have… erm… a tumble in the rumble… during their work schedules! Yes, I am talking about S-E-X word.



"Yeah, I want to wait till I'm married because of… blah… blah… blah… blah blah blah… blah… blah blah… blah… blooh blah… blah? BLAH?! BLAH!" Yes, I ended up staring at Miley with my mouth open like… like a stunned opossum. Lilly agreed with whatever she said, and Miley asked, "Do you agree?"

I opened my mouth, intending to say "Yes, Miley, I do agree with your opinion…" but what came out was, "I don't know. I heard sex is great, you know. I wouldn't mind having it." I said directly to Miley.

I mentally slapped myself on my forehead, leaving a big, ugly red hand mark. Wait… that was a slap from Lilly.

"Ugh!" Miley said, throwing her baked potato remnants at me, landing on my head. "MY HAIR!" I bellowed like a wounded rhinosaur. **(A/N: a rhinosaur is a mix between a rhinoceros and dinosaur… I actually said that once. I am THE Rhinosaur Princess. Those whom review shall receive a free piece of Laffy Taffy, flavor of his choice. Only while supplies last) **

She got up and stormed off, leaving a goggling Lilly. "What did I say wrong?" I asked her. "UGH!" She said, throwing her hard roll at me. Ew, Journal. Not that kind of hard. "OW!" I said, and watched an aggravated Lilly strut off after Miley.



I looked longingly at my half eaten steak, mashed potatoes, roll, steamed veggies, and half a sandwich (bologna, cheese, and peanut butter… yum). Then I looked after my girlfriend who was blowing steam out of her eyes. Not literally, Journal. Gosh, and you say I'M stupid. Geeze. Oh I got the phrase wrong? Ears… right. Psht, why would steam blow out your EARS?! Only a dingdong would think that…

Then I realized what I should do, Journal. I dumped my plate of food into a large, white vase that was once filled with flowers until I knocked it down on Lilly's spaghetti and meatballs. I had to buy her another plate, too. And Miley's meal. And mine. Gahh. Why oh why didn't mom and dad give me more money?

Anyway, I grabbed the vase and scurried like a bunny getting chased by a fox on Animal Planet after the two girls.

"WAIT UP!" I hollered like… a… a… erm… a… goose… getting hit by a car.

Guess what they did, Journal? They ran. Harder. Faster. The most they had ever done before. EWWW, nasty! I don't mean THAT. Seriously, can you really picture Miley and Lilly having… hard core… lesbian sex? Scratching that out… now



Anyway. They just ran away. But then Miley ran back to me! I opened my arms expecting a hug, but instead she grabbed my vase and dumped its contents on my beautiful, luscious brown locks. They're sexy. Beg to differ, and you can receive a free blow in the head. EW, I did NOT mean it like that!

I'm hungry. My stomach has been growling off the clock. I want my food . But all the remains remain on the floor of the Main Hall. Unless Barbie the always-angry janitor cleaned it up. Barbie is a man, sadly to say.

Anyway. Journal, I feel weird. Yeah, you heard me, big Journal!

No! You aren't fat! NOOO

Anyway.

We're going to see hula dancers tomorrow. Is it true that they're really hot? Oh I hope Miley doesn't read that…

Oh we're good by the way. Me and Miley.

Miley and I. Whatever is grammeticly correct.

I think my spelling is getting worser.

And my grammer.

Anyway. Lilly is on the phone with a secret someone and Miley prying at her to find out. It's Jackson, obviously.

Why else would Lilly be totally… secluded?



"Why won't you tell me?" Miley asked as Lilly threw her hand up for silence, and then turned and walked off to the bathroom.

I'm gonna go find a vending machine. Be back later.

* * *

**Later**

**In bed**

Ahhh nothing better than Cheetos and Hershey bar sandwhich! Oh, and we mustn't forget grapes. Grapes make the world a better place.

Anyways.

Miley still feels the need to ignore me.

Dear Ollie's diary: Oliver misses Miley!:( Poor Ollie Wolly Bolly Golly. Byebye! Hugs and kisses with extra hugs and kisses, Lilllayyy

Okay thennn. Why does Lilly always feel the need to come up with stupid nicknames: Ollie Wolly Bolly Golly. And why does she ALWAYS leave me hugs and kisses? The only good hugs and kisses she could give me are those little chocolate candies.



But I still only like those from Miley.

I mean, kisses and hugs. And not the chocolate ones. But, alas, Miley won't talk to me so there's no point in hoping for them anytime soon.

Uh oh. Miley's calling for moi. I'll be back later. Be good, boy.

Um... right-o.

* * *

**Later**

**Bed again.**

Ahhh. Miley apologized for being a weird highness. Hmmh…

She rewarded me with kisses and hugs. But heavy kisses and fewer hugs. And I don't mean the candy.

She made me happier than she even knows . And I actually DO mean it like that this time, Journal.

She was sitting on my lap… ahh… and she was in her BIKINI and I was in my SWIMTRUNKS because we had just gotten back from the pool.

So yeah. Very little… erm… clothing today while we did that. Which erm… left me happier than ever…

She's sexy… I'd like to…

**Later again.**

**Bed still.**

Sorry. I had to stop writing for awhile. I couldn't stop thinking… erm.., perverted thoughts.

I actually tore out that page and shoved it in my shoe so no sneaky Tiger Lilly or Miley Cat may "accidently" read what lies between that perverted page.

Ahh…. I wish that I could replay that entire thing over… and over… and over…

* * *

**Later. Yes, again!**

Bed again. Sorry I had to erm… take a shower. It totally worked, too.

I'm whipped. Or is it wiped… worked… whatever.

STOP LAUGHING, Journal! Jeesh!

Anyway. I think I'm gonna go to beddy bye so I can go to Dreamy La La La Land.

Nighty nighty, sleepy tighty, sleepy loosey, loosey goosey, nighty nighty.

My god I cannot believe I just said that.

Bye, Journal.

* * *

**As usual, reviews are greatly appericiated! So please... leave some! If i get at least five then I'll update ASAP. If I get less than five, don't expect a new chapter for a month or so. So yeah. Just click the button! Make me happy! Lol..**




	16. Completely Pointless Author's Note

**Hey guys. This is just an author's note, NOT a new chapter, unfortunately. **

**I just wanted to drabble about something that is buggering me. **

**So, I was flipping through fanfictions, looking for Moliver and Lackson stories. I was APPALED at how few there were! **

**Loliver, Liley, Niley, Nilly, and Jiley were a few of the thousands of random couples. I'm sorry but I am NOT a fan of Loliver, Liley (I mean come AWN. That is NOT happening in the show. Keep in mind that this IS a KIDS show. But whatevs), Niley, Nilly, or Jiley (come on, Jake is simply a boyish girl. Lol. I think I mean girlish boy. Anyway). I'm sorry if I've offended any of you but seriously. **

**Think about Disneys past. Lizzie McGuire: Lizzie and Gordo. Phil of the Future: Phil and Keely. Kim Possible: Kim and Ron. Catch the drift? The main character girl and the best friend boy almost ALWAYS gets together!! Shocker! Anyway, thanks for reading my pointless author's note. Love you all,**

**peace out..**

**maddiej93 **

**PS: shoot me. go ahead, do it. but then everyone will know that i'm dying for a good cause... **

**_--MOLIVER4EVER--_**

**_woo. anyway... review if you want, but i'm not begging this time ;)_**


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